My second day without my baby.

My love for you, will never fade....

woke up around 1pm.
meet up with christ kor and joel di under my blk around 3pm .
ate subway[FOR THE FIRST TIME].
then bus to joe house to take kor's key as he left it there.
then went back to northpoint, wait for bus wif kor and bus 1stop home just to kill time.
reach home around 6.30pm.
stayed home ever since.

btw, i've changed phone number already.
i've change back to my singtel line that number.
if u remember it...
then good for u...
if not people who dont remember...
good bye...
cause my mum is using my M1 sim card now.


and i'll be stoping work soon.
maybe, tml...
i'll tell don.
i've made up my mind.


after nehemiah call me back after so many miss call from me.
he asked about me and my baby.
i almost broke down.
i couldnt manage to even breath nor talk properly...
if not i might just cry out.
so i could only force out the word alone and lonely.
after he hung up, i manage to control the tears.
but dunno why, after reading baby's blog.
my tears couldnt stop flowing.
it wouldnt stop...
so i ran into the room and try to force it to stop.
and finally, it stoped.
so i came out to blog.


i'm running away.
i dunno why, but my heart just cant help it anymore.
i can only run away.

it's okay, even without me, he's fine.
he'll be fine.
he have so manay friends to be there for him.
he'll be alright even without me.
it wouldnt make a different without me.
because...
i cant make him happy, all i have done is made him sad and angry.
i can never heal it any more.
i dont have confident anymore.
i dont have the power to do so anymore.
i dont know how anymore.
i give up...
i gave up...

please be happy, i know you can...



it's okay, i'll be fine...
i just...
gotta get use to it...
use to not seeing ur smile,
not being able to embracing your warmth,
not being able to tickle you,
not being able to hold on to you everywhere i go,
not being able to see you 'sa jiao',
not being able to tie ur hair for you,
not being able to hug you to sleep,
not being able to see ur bird face,
not being able to 'dou zui' with you,
not being able to bully you,
not being able to sayang you,
not being able to see you get so happy just becoz of some little thing,
not being able to look into ur eyes and tell each other iloveyou,
not being able to be there for u, going through those difficult situaction,
not being able to help you do anything anymore....

there's just so many things i gotta get use to...
what am i gonna do without you...
my life...
i dont wanna live my life without you...
what should i do, what should i do?...

though you always said that u're mature enough to think and all.
but...
i always see you as my baby, a child.
someone i wanna love and protect.
just by doing some little stuff can make u so happy.
i'm really gald to have found you.
looking at u smile so sillily just like a kid, makes me feels so bless.
just cant stop falling in love with you everyday.
magically, every little things you do for me, can make me so happy too!

what am i talking about...
and i was saying i was gonna give up...
how am i suppose to give up like that...

i sound pitifull.
as if i'm very ke lian...
oh well!
i'm okay~........



hummm...
i wanna go look for another job.
i remember my sister tell me there's one restaurant that needs to wear kimono and serve people.
how cool is that~~~
KIMONO NEHHS!!!
kawaii~~~ xD

i'll end here for today...

Me & Joel di

Baby, baby, baby; it's all ecoing inside my head; Jasmine