Just a dream.

i dreamt of you last night.
Though it was only for a short few mins in the dream, i am still glad at least i get to see you in my dream.
In my dream, we were still that same person i remembered you as. Only this time, you're in better terms with your girl. and i'm happy for you. (:

The Last Greetings

I'll leave you as you are.

My heart is too fragile for your presence.

You're fine now, you always are.

I love my peaceful life as it is now.

We shall never meet again.

GoodBye.

To you.

You know where the problem lies.

You know how to solve it.

You know it's gonna be hard.

And you know if u manage to do it, you'll be accepted by everyone.

All the problems will disappeared.

ALL OF THEM.

But you choose not to see it.

You choose not to care about it.

You ignore it.

Because you know better than anyone this is the life you wants to have.

What will happen in the future are yet to be known.

You believe that you rule your life and that you can make it to the ending point safely this way.

But you didn't notice.

You were the one playing games.

Gambling with life is you hobby.

You're immune to the pain and the lies.

Cause all you could see was what you wan to see.

No one can ever wake you up from you little bitter-sweet nightmare.

But what's the point of all the struggling?

The complaining?

The damage taken and the damage given?

Is it all worth it?

A little problem drives a 6yrs friendship away within 4 to 5months.

A tiny situation can be involved into a frightening fight.

A word trust will never be in your dictionary for long.

A simple step backwards are never given.

You choose the way, you plan the game, you save the day in your ways.

But u never fails to neglects how we felt.

You know it very well.

You know what you CAN do to make a difference.

You know what you CAN do to make things work.

You know what you CAN do to make your OWN life a better place to be.

Stop doing all those SILLY things and having to regret it again later on in life.

Life is too short for you to keep REGRETTING.

You can never have ALL the chances YOU WANT.

"Sorry" can't be your RESTART button ALL THE TIME.

It's you life, your choice, you future.

Believe me,

We left because we care.

We loved you so much to give up on you just because we wants you to learn the pain.

At the same time, we're praying so hard to god that you would learn to love.

And that you would come to take us home someday.

We cared more than anything else in the world.

You just don't seem to see how we felt.

It might feels like we're all saying it's ur fault, you have to change!

YES! It's true.

BUT, we have our own fault too.

i know we're wrong in some ways or another.

But look at me.

Can you see it?

How much we meant when we said sorry?

The tears in our eye, our knees on the floor?

How much we tried to give you?

Love is a never ending list of forgiveness and acceptance.

We did our best but we've yet to seen yours.

I know there's times where all faults lies on the girls.

But that's life.

You can choose to pick it up and set it nicely in the drawers.

Or throw it all around for the rest of your life.

Your little puppet show.

When i left, you asked me to stay.
When i stayed, you left me.

When i lied, you lied.
When i told you the truth, you take it as a passing wind.

When i turned and never looked back, you turned and looked.
When i turned to look at you, you never gave a damn.

When i hurt, you told me you're hurt.
When i tried to heal, you were always fully healed.

You told me there were scars i couldn't see, but those scars never ever exist.


Every single word, ever minor actions, even the smallest thing you do affects me.
i remembered them so well.
i remember them all.
just a call from you, a single look from you makes me feel like the world has never change.

But when i finally turned to look at reality.
All that end up as just a lie.
It was all just for show.
Just for fun.
Just for you to be entertained and occupied.
A little puppet show.

Truth or Lies?

Didn't had the courage to read your blog at first.
Off it directly after i knew what you would blog about.
But i told myself.
I have to face it.
Looked back at it about a few short moments later.

Maybe we should stop lying to ourselves.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still makes each other's world a complete place to be in.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still mean alot to each other.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still love each other.
Stop lying to ourselves of how much we think we still need each other.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still miss each other.
Stop lying to ourselves that we miss the time we had together.

Because, i am happy the way i am now.
I feel happpiness and i wont hurt a single bit at all.
I'm really blessed with my guy now.

And though i know you and kim aren't in a good situation, that's why i wanna remind you even more.
You do not love me, you do not miss me and i do not mean a thing to you at all.
If so, you would have treasure me long ago.
You wouldn't had let go of me.
You wouldn't just leave me broken into pieces.
You're just lonely cause Kim do not have time with you.
You know you feel really love kim since you had stated how much she meant to you in your blog.
And you know you enjoy every moment with her by ur side.

Have you noticed?
I can tell you.
Though we were never in such position like how you and kim were now.
But the pain i used to feel is without a doubt, what you're feeling now.
Maybe way worst.

Wake up, wake up.
Cause i'm no longer here to lend you a shoulder anymore.
I would no longer be there.

Fear

Eveything everything....
It just kept feeling like a dream, a lie.
Something never meant to be and will never be.
Regardless how much we've said and done.
The feeling that always felt like a lie in the depths my heart.
Never did it went away.
Not in the past and never in the present.
And i guess it'll stay the same in the future.
I dont wanna hurt no more.
Maybe we should never see each other again.
I wanna save myself one last time.
From the love so deep, so true.
Yet, no happiness would comes out from it.
Not a single smile.


The pain had never went away; it's all because of you.

You made me feel as if nothing could replace us.
But in the end the truth that came out of your mouth was horrifying.
The fact that you could affect me so much scares me.
That's the only reason why i'm constantly afraid.
I wanna keep my distance from YOU.