The best thing that had happen to me is; YOU.
Rain always comes,
but my sunshine never fails to brighten up the day.

For many reader's information .
My baby and i had some problems few days ago .



Everything is resolved now.


The days without my baby...
i feel so lost and confused.
i almost wanted to gave up last night.
cry like a dog over the phone while talking to nehemiah.


Today woke up, msg baby.
Then after that went out to meet baby at tamp.
while looking for a seat in the food court, saw dexter.
as usual, ate xiao wan mian.

after that went to return the clothes to kim gary.
gotta look for a new job now...
ANY RECOMMENDATION???
6.15pm, baby went to work so i went back home alone.



i wanna get a new haircut soon~~~
T^T cant really stand this hair now.
but at the same time, i kinda like it.
becoz i have to pin it up so it'll look better so no fringe to distrub my face!!!

and how i wish i can change a new Hp.
it's getting on my nerve...
no camera, no music...
life feels even more plain now.
T^T

sorry people, then again...
STILL NO PICTURES...
it's freaking irratating...
sobs....

came home, use com all the way, watch show, listen music...
untill baby end work then he called me.
chat over the phone up untill now.
i'm going back to chatting with my dearest baby, bye~




what makes my life wonderful; it's you.
JAsMiNe <3

My second day without my baby.

My love for you, will never fade....

woke up around 1pm.
meet up with christ kor and joel di under my blk around 3pm .
ate subway[FOR THE FIRST TIME].
then bus to joe house to take kor's key as he left it there.
then went back to northpoint, wait for bus wif kor and bus 1stop home just to kill time.
reach home around 6.30pm.
stayed home ever since.

btw, i've changed phone number already.
i've change back to my singtel line that number.
if u remember it...
then good for u...
if not people who dont remember...
good bye...
cause my mum is using my M1 sim card now.


and i'll be stoping work soon.
maybe, tml...
i'll tell don.
i've made up my mind.


after nehemiah call me back after so many miss call from me.
he asked about me and my baby.
i almost broke down.
i couldnt manage to even breath nor talk properly...
if not i might just cry out.
so i could only force out the word alone and lonely.
after he hung up, i manage to control the tears.
but dunno why, after reading baby's blog.
my tears couldnt stop flowing.
it wouldnt stop...
so i ran into the room and try to force it to stop.
and finally, it stoped.
so i came out to blog.


i'm running away.
i dunno why, but my heart just cant help it anymore.
i can only run away.

it's okay, even without me, he's fine.
he'll be fine.
he have so manay friends to be there for him.
he'll be alright even without me.
it wouldnt make a different without me.
because...
i cant make him happy, all i have done is made him sad and angry.
i can never heal it any more.
i dont have confident anymore.
i dont have the power to do so anymore.
i dont know how anymore.
i give up...
i gave up...

please be happy, i know you can...



it's okay, i'll be fine...
i just...
gotta get use to it...
use to not seeing ur smile,
not being able to embracing your warmth,
not being able to tickle you,
not being able to hold on to you everywhere i go,
not being able to see you 'sa jiao',
not being able to tie ur hair for you,
not being able to hug you to sleep,
not being able to see ur bird face,
not being able to 'dou zui' with you,
not being able to bully you,
not being able to sayang you,
not being able to see you get so happy just becoz of some little thing,
not being able to look into ur eyes and tell each other iloveyou,
not being able to be there for u, going through those difficult situaction,
not being able to help you do anything anymore....

there's just so many things i gotta get use to...
what am i gonna do without you...
my life...
i dont wanna live my life without you...
what should i do, what should i do?...

though you always said that u're mature enough to think and all.
but...
i always see you as my baby, a child.
someone i wanna love and protect.
just by doing some little stuff can make u so happy.
i'm really gald to have found you.
looking at u smile so sillily just like a kid, makes me feels so bless.
just cant stop falling in love with you everyday.
magically, every little things you do for me, can make me so happy too!

what am i talking about...
and i was saying i was gonna give up...
how am i suppose to give up like that...

i sound pitifull.
as if i'm very ke lian...
oh well!
i'm okay~........



hummm...
i wanna go look for another job.
i remember my sister tell me there's one restaurant that needs to wear kimono and serve people.
how cool is that~~~
KIMONO NEHHS!!!
kawaii~~~ xD

i'll end here for today...

Me & Joel di

Baby, baby, baby; it's all ecoing inside my head; Jasmine

Insomnia
laying on my bed;
only you are in my head

like being hit by a bullet.
everything is chaotic.
through the hole in my heart,
all our memories are flowing out.
even if i try to hold on to them,
even if i try to block my heart,
they slip through my fingers.
even if my heart stops,
i dont think it'll hurt like this.
please do something, cure me.
at this rate, my heart will all be broken.
all of a sudden,
the tears flow without me knowing.
i really dont want to be like this...
really dont want to...
really...


no words can describe how much i'm missing you now baby.

i know i'm making it sound all so pitifull.
but i really miss you badly.


it's 5 in the morning and i still cant sleep.
why am i suffering from insomnia again?
the second time in my entire life...

please, save me or kill me.
make it fast, i dont wanna suffer like this anymore.


couldnt sleep so search for songs online to listen...



Ride For You - Danity Kane

[Verse 1: Aundrea]
Lately, I've been tryna fight whatever's pulling us under
it's got a hold and really making me wonder
what it takes to get through
I gotta stick with you, my baby
Baby tell me?
Maybe I'm foolishly overreacting
But being without you I can't imagine
It's just to close to the heart and
And I won't stand it if were broken apart

[Chorus: group]
Do you hear me?
Baby ya gotta believe in the things that make you & me win together
Don't you throw in the towel
I'm keeping my promise to you I got ya back now
When the chips are down
It seems like it's so hard for you to move ahead
Just know that I am by your side
There aint no ifs, buts, or maybes,
I'm gonna stay down and ride for you baby

[Verse 2: Dawn]
We've been cutting it close with the backwards & forwards
It's rocking the boat; we gotta get control of this
Let's take it back to three years ago
When you said that we could make it through whatever, ever
And to me it sounded like you meant forever, ever
Leaving was not an option, baby, never, never
Now don't you believe in a love that's worth a fight
In you is everything that I'm missing
So give us a chance

[Chorus]

[Verse 3: D. Woods]
Don't you dare tell me we gotta let it go?
We been on top for too long just to let it go under
I don't wanna hear that
I just can't hear that
and know
Wherever you wanna take me
I'll go
I been with you for too long to start over with another
I know that you hear me
Just tell me you hear me





Kara - Honey


READ THE TRANSLATION.
love this Korean song.



Dont sent me to hell yet; Jasmine

Lost in words, lost in thoughts, lost in memories


Woke up msg baby.
Wonder how is he now...
what he have been doing...
is he thinking of me like how i'm thinking of him?
feel so lonely.
i'm alone, i have no one.
i'm glad baby has so many friends..

Stayed home and read manga and listen to song the whole of today.
Home alone...
waiting...
and waiting...

What should i do now?
baby's still angry with me.
it's all my fault for being too friendly.
and always trying to find excuses.
i dunno what to do anymore...
i feel like just running away, like how i always do.
every time something goes wrong, i gives up.
that's why i never succeed in anything before.

when i got together with baby...
i told myself, i wanna be the one that baby feel the happiest with.
i wanna be able to give all my love to baby.
i wanna make baby happy...
but...
am i doing it now?..

will we ever be the same again?...

i guess, i'm just being selfish...

i'll leave the decision to baby...





Messed up; Jasmine.

Memories
if only there is a replay button;
i would wanna replay all the happy moments all over again.

Feel like changing job...
it's tiring being a waitress...
T^T

currently bored at home.
miss work again.
2nd day of missing work.
feel like just quitting...
of well...

gotta wake up tml and GAMBATTE!!!
FOR MONEY!
xD

i got lots of things i wanna buy.
example: make ups like; eyeliner, mascara, concealer [IT'S ALL FINISHING!!!]
and my 2nd shoe bought within this two month...
is opening mouth again!!!
need new shoes.
and i wanna buy assessments book.
and i'm saving money to get a new hair cut on july and opening a chatlet on my bithday.
i wanna change a new HP too!!!
i wanna get a new set of clothes

talk about make ups...
my make up pouch is still wif NEHEMIAH!!!
ytd went to east coast and met Francis.
and met a fat gal who proclaim that she...
nvm about that...
'celebrated birthday and all...'

today whole day at home..
better sleep before 3am...
if not i'll miss work again.
but waking up early for work sure feels kinda good.
feel fresh and awake [i hope].

that's all for today...

Jasmine; i'm losing it...

It doesnt matter.
When the time comes,
we all know tt we just gotta accept it.

i hope baby dont read this...

i feel broken...
after hearing how much leah has once meant to him...
i feel sad...
i feel that i'm still far from the place where leah has once held in baby's heart.
how much more should i work hard?...
what else can i do?

people once said i wasnt understanding enough; i've change.
people said i get jealous too easily; i've change.
people said i wasnt sensitive enough; i've change.
people said i wasnt fun enough to be around with; i've change.
people said i was too quiet; i've change.
what else can i do?....


couldn't stop thinking about it ever since he told be about it.
and look like i'm quite good at hiding my feelings after all.
he doesnt seems to noticed how troubled i am...
and i started to think...
maybe i wasnt the one for him after all...
maybe its just fate pulling us tgt.
when the fate is over, we'll end up like nth.

Cancerian; sure is an emotional one... (:

heartach...





let's not talk about sad stuff anymore!

Later i'm working full time morning shift.
i know i know, u problably think i wouldnt be able to wake up ryt?...
well...
i'll try my best... infact, i HAVE TO!
like wad my supervisor said: "for andy's sake"
coz only when i work morning, i can have a long break in the middle.
so that i can have time for baby...
been hesitating about whether to change to full time to earn more money for 3weeks already.
as i fear the lesser sleep and time i have will reflect badly on my relationship.
but now, finally, my answer is yes.

whatever happens after that...
i guess...
it doesnt matter much...
i'm used to pain anyway...
used to heartach and all.
i learn to accept my suay-ness
so i've learn to accept whatever that happened.
it's okay, whatever not meant to be will never be...
so yeah, i've numb the pain abit.




This two week, i will have different off day as baby...
today baby's not working.
tml, i off baby's working.
what am i gonna do tml without baby?...
my life ended up being only about andy...
what should i do tml?...



my life...
it sucks.
never once i tot my life was wonderful...
oh well...
only for a moment once in a blue moon.
dont u think the same too?
being alive is boring.
everyone should die soon and die young!
so we wouldnt have to suffer more.

since sec1 when i started to use MSN alot, i will always write " i rather i had never exist before"
and that thought has never changed before.
i guess alot of u out there might think the same too isnt it.
well, life's like tt...
how long more do i have to suffer sia?
i wanna die in my sleep!!!
lols.
or just put me in a coma forever is good enough. (:

GAAAA!

i know i know, i'm not talking human...
i shall go sleep soon.
good night.
bye bye.




Reply of taggies:

To XiaoWen - I OPEN CHALET SURE INVITE YOU! MUST COME HOR!
cant manage to eat good food this month sia, fuck! oh well...
Hummm... i drop out from CHEC le; the private O school. but i've paid the O level fee le so i can still study on my own and go back and take O levels though. (:

To HaoKor - huh? airport got sell wad thing sia?...
i only went there twice. once last year, once this year.
all i saw was FOOD!!! xD







P.S: sorry, i still haven change any better HP with good photo quality.
so... no photos yet! (: