To blog or not to blog, that's a question...
so end up, i decided to blog.

pretty boring day; could not be with baby today.
stayed home and watch over the house because a part time maid came.
almost died of boredom and from missing baby.

maid finally left at 6.30pm.
paid her 45 bucks.
noticed christ kor online so decided to ask him out for dinner.
been months since i last went out with him and the others[ect. joe&j2]

ate chicken katsu bowl and drank rai-bi-na.
after that slack below a block near my house and chat about how have we been.
finally left for home at 9.47pm.




jay's song...
his songs just simply reminds me of the times where chocolate and marshmallow exist.
random. xD
his songs is just simply nice.
sadly, lost my phone and so, lost his songs tgt with my phone.
damn it!

JOEL!, I WAN MY 2G MEMORY CARD BACK!
been hard to contact each other due to busy life + lost of HP.
T^T

not planning to update any photos yet as there's some that are in my fren's camera.
after i get it, i'm gonna expose it all to you! [whoever's reading this piece of shit]
hahas.

sorry for the plain boring blog, bare with me a little okay people? (:



baby's out toning tonight.
siian...
haiis...
so now it's just me and my plain stupid thoughts of a super fuck up brain.
being in and out of love really does creates a little too much side effects for one self.

sorry to the ones i hurt before.
but never douth the one you love, no matter how much pain u got from the previous one before.
becoz, they're two different ppl.
believe in you can someday find the one that would love, treasure and accept you as who you are.
NEVER present urself with a mask on, or you'll never find that someone in life.
and never get into a relationship too fast...
coz it'll never last long, unless miracles happens.
but i swear, the road will be pretty shaky though.

and never go back to the one who gave u up.
because...
IT'S JUST PLAIN STUPID.
you don't need that person to find happiness.
you can find happiness even without that person.
why waste time and effort on that person when there's still many fishes in the sea and many tress in the forest?
you can find happiness, you can you can!
she is not ur everything, just part of it, maybe she doesn't even fit to be in ur life.
just becoz, she doesn't treasure u, that's why she don't fit.
no matter how much she can be forgiven, its no use.
she can hurt u once, she can hurt u twice and again and again.
gou gai bu liao chi shi [dog can never change its habbit of eating shit]
got hear before?
put more price on urself, she dont wan you, there's still many more pretty gals who like you and can give u more love than she can.
just take her as a BRAINLESS BITCH who dunno how to treasure such a nice person like you can le.
u're more worthy to be love by someone better.
SAME GOES FOR GALS.




WAH SIIAN!!!
it's 2am already...
and i'm super tired.
but why aren't i asleep yet?.
that's because i'm worrying about someone.
stupid horoscope, why must i have motherly love.
damn fuck up. =="





it's hard to love but i know i gotta try; Jasmine

a BITCH, a BLACK SHEEP of the family; ME

i might not always seems like what i'm suppose to be.
no one will ever be like how they're expected to.
never judge a book by its cover.

i kept thinking i've grown up and had stop being so childish and all already.
but now i realized, it's just the ability of being able to think properly and deeply.
not growing up.
i can think but i always have problem taking actions.
i'm still a child after all.

i make mistakes and some people thinks that i'm a bitch because the things i do are simply so FUCKED UP.
those that hate me that much, i don't need the forgiveness, i rather u stay far far away from me.
in that way u're live happier. (:

so...
BEWARE OF ME!


this weeks having MAJOR TEST .
but i dont even know which day is which test.
freaking siian...

must gambatte! >.<


YTD went to church.
the guy who's talking is freaking funny.
it sure is a worth to go session. (:

okay, shall go sleep, tml got school.
OYASUMINASAI! [x

FATE;
when the time is right, you will know it.

Been late for school the whole of this weeks,
this explains why my mom doesn't trust me that much anymore.
cause i lack of responsibility.

i don't think my thinking is immature seriously.
just that u found that i tend to do stuff immaturely.
=X

i mean like, i like having fun too much and do what i feel like doing without thinking that much.
i know i've do the wrong things but i just like having fun too much.
i guess it's the results of not having much freedom since i way young.
people who usually are allow to have alot of freedom, tend to get sick of going out too much.
while those who don't, envy those who have freedom and longs about having freedom.
it's a physiological things you see.
most of the time, it works this way.


meet Andy in school and accompany him and his frens for a period as i promised.
then went for bio class.

misuke made bread for me as usual; THANKS! IT'S ALWAYS SUPER YUMMY! [:

after school, went home pack stuff and came out.
meet Timothy at northpoint & went down to Serangoon to meet up with HuiPing&Nehemiah.
cab down to eastcoast for 3OA's BBQ and celebrate Adely's birthday.
then went for a movie and went to back to Serangoon.
Mummy 'KI HONG', keep spaming 20+ call
so decided to come back as i felt bad for making her worried.
cab home and now super tired.
yeah, that's all fer today.

sleepy, tired, headach.

tml morning meeting them for breakfast.
after that maid's coming my house to clean the house.
then meeting Glenn & Timothy to go church with MrDavid @ city harvest.

20 of march comming soon, as the date get closer, the more i panic.
i'm abit scared and confused.
but i'm detemin to give my answer by 20 march.

photography; Jasmine
Editor; Jasmine

it's hard to trust but i know i gotta try; Jasmine

*SLAP SELF*
please dont let me fall in love again!
no no no no no!

i feel like crying.
feel like dying.

it's not hard to explain why.
but it's dumb to explain why.
is my expectation to high or am i just asking too much?

is it really that hard?

i really wanna burst it all out.
i feel like bursting.
but how?

kill me fast.
end my misery.

maybe, its just my fate.
to die alone.


i'm just...
too afraid to be alone.
i dont like the feeling of being left out.
dont like the feeling that i'm facing everything alone.
i understand some stuff are meant to be faced alone.
but, i when there's stuff that need not be faced alone, i wish that everyone who i hold dear to, will be there for me, especially that someone i love.
and yes, i love to be love and i love to share my love too; ofcoz not share boyfriend lahhs.

haiis...
fine, it's hard to explain in words in a everyone view...

*bang wall, bang table, bang chair*


i shall reborn my hair this year;
jap perm it next year;
cut it short + reborn it the next next year.
hahas.

'think i'm going crazy soon'

RAINBOWS&BUTTERFLIES.
When the rain stops and the cloud cleared;
i know i will see you there.

Today woke up, bath and went to meet wee below my block around 3pm plus.
train down to cityhall and went to the same shop where i buy the present to change the present as it has scratches.

after that, we went to food court.
i drank 2 glasses of coke while he ate his lunch and drank milo with ice-cream.
then we went back to yishun to get my lappy and bus down to pasir ris for my sister's birthday.
walking down the same path reminds me of WAYNE.
yet, it's smth i have to learn to put down in the past.
it's just the memories haunting me after all.

Wee didnt know anyone there.
so i tried my best to be there for him and entertain him.
its a hard job seriously, coz i got kinda angry in the end.

ate apple with melted chocolate; super yummy!
and corn with melted cheese; super yummy!

my precious biao mei[s] cut hair le.
and darling tang mei reborded hair.
lols.
and my youngest biao mei and tang mei DISLIKE each other.
OMG, headache.
lols.

begaining when i was there, they were like kinda clingy.
i was super worried wee would be left out.

after that, we snag birthday song and ate a gianatic peice of birthday cake and then me and wee left the chalet.
he sent me to the interchange.
actually he wanted to send me home but noticed the time was too late.
so we decided to go home seprately.

got home; was trap inside my gate, outside my door.
lols.
coz i only brough one key.
so i sat with the all the shoes using my lappy for about 45mins.
damn, it stinks.

got INTO house, lay on my bed, SLEEP.
hahas.
too tired le.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT MY BLOG LINK WILL CHANGE SOON SO LOOK OUT FOR MY NEW LINK THROUGH MY FRIENDSTER & FACEBOOK SHOUT OUT.

neglected this photo for a very long time; MISUKE! (:
and yes, he's a guy. [x

my eyes can also big big one lor, just i lazy open.
i swear this had no editions.

You'll be right there waiting for me; Jasmine.

fear overwhelms me;
what lies in the future is so predictable yet uncertain.

HAPPY 17 BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS GIRLFRIEND; PEGGY!

life have been really tough on you.
i hope the rest of the days, months and years of ur life that lies ahead of you; no matter how hard the situation is; someone, infact, everyone and a lot of people will be there for you, encouraging you and leading you.

i hope u will grow to learn to be more jian qiang and understand how life works.
no matter how much we are unwilling to put down the past,
we still have to let it go.
keep this in ur mind that you are NOT ALONE.
I will be there for u for as much as u can.
but at the times when i cant be there for u, or when no one are able to be there for u or do anything to help u, learn from ur mistakes, find a solution and work it out, improve ur life and GAMBATTE.

some things are meant to be face alone; no one are able to help you.
but never forget that there's always people who love and care about you, no matter how far they are, their love will alway be there for you.

and lastly,
❥iloveyou GALFRIEND.

Today went to school, was almost late because something got cope up.
so cab down from tiong plaza.
fucking wasted.

Had maths test; OMG, not enough time to finish it up. T^T
Had eng test; hai hao narhhs, its not that hard any more.
Had bio spelling test; hey! my memory arent that bad after all, i think. |x

in between bio class, i came out just intime to wish peggy happy birthday while nehemia and huiping just got back from collecting the purple-pink roses and cake from tiong to gib Peggy.

ended class a 4.30pm

slack in school awhile and set off for bugis.
went to eat steamboat.
WOOHOO!
YUMMY!

after that huiping and tiff feel like volmiting, they ate too much.
heng i never stuff myself too full.

all gathered at the shisha carpet place.
all sat on the foor.
shisha abit and celebrate peggy's birthday there.

took lots of photo, and she cut her cake and i fed her the first slice of the cake.
and everyone is starting to be in a good mood.
talk alot, joke alot.

After that Peggy left to meet her frens.

then i played the sissor-paper-stone game, who ever lose will be doddle by the winner on their limps with eye-liner.
begaining when i was playing with timothy, i keep winning, but after that when we play 'O-YA-PEH-YA-SOM' with drick, i lost ALL THE WAY.

damn the luck.
got bullies, they drew all over my arms and legs!!!
T^T

after that we walk to city hall & meet up with peggy and her frens.

everyone who walked pass me was like staring at me from my leg to my face.
i know i look freaking weird as drick kinda draw an ang kong like thing on my leg.
=="

took MRT home and slept on Shino[gal] darling's shoulder.
damn, that's the nicest shoulder i had ever lied on in my LIFE.

got home, mom was like O.O coz of my 'tattoos'.
and was like freaking scratching it off while bathing.
and end up, my legs and arm are red while my fingure nails are all black!
>.<

hair freaking messy.

look at my arms and leg, gan ugly lor.
T^T

timothy

glenn&drick

i darw on timothy de

dont only look at the tar fish, look wad's below it [x

my leg, the 'ang gong'; drawn by drick

drawn by shino[steph]

freaking tired now.
lots of things running through my mind.
i still have things that i needa talk it over.
i cant stand it.

i cant stand myself.
i love myself but i hate myself at the same time.

it's complicated...


when the best one is right infront of ur eye, you crave for something you never know if you'll ever get or if it ever exist yet it's tempting but it's too precious to be own when you know you'll break it someday.







please, tell me u're the right one; Jasmine.