Precious Moment

Just a dream.

2021-01-06T04:16:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of you last night.
Though it was only for a short few mins in the dream, i am still glad at least i get to see you in my dream.
In my dream, we were still that same person i remembered you as. Only this time, you're in better terms with your girl. and i'm happy for you. (:

The Last Greetings

2020-11-07T00:35:00.000+08:00

I'll leave you as you are.

My heart is too fragile for your presence.

You're fine now, you always are.

I love my peaceful life as it is now.

We shall never meet again.

GoodBye.

To you.

2020-10-02T22:09:00.001+08:00

You know where the problem lies.

You know how to solve it.

You know it's gonna be hard.

And you know if u manage to do it, you'll be accepted by everyone.

All the problems will disappeared.

ALL OF THEM.

But you choose not to see it.

You choose not to care about it.

You ignore it.

Because you know better than anyone this is the life you wants to have.

What will happen in the future are yet to be known.

You believe that you rule your life and that you can make it to the ending point safely this way.

But you didn't notice.

You were the one playing games.

Gambling with life is you hobby.

You're immune to the pain and the lies.

Cause all you could see was what you wan to see.

No one can ever wake you up from you little bitter-sweet nightmare.

But what's the point of all the struggling?

The complaining?

The damage taken and the damage given?

Is it all worth it?

A little problem drives a 6yrs friendship away within 4 to 5months.

A tiny situation can be involved into a frightening fight.

A word trust will never be in your dictionary for long.

A simple step backwards are never given.

You choose the way, you plan the game, you save the day in your ways.

But u never fails to neglects how we felt.

You know it very well.

You know what you CAN do to make a difference.

You know what you CAN do to make things work.

You know what you CAN do to make your OWN life a better place to be.

Stop doing all those SILLY things and having to regret it again later on in life.

Life is too short for you to keep REGRETTING.

You can never have ALL the chances YOU WANT.

"Sorry" can't be your RESTART button ALL THE TIME.

It's you life, your choice, you future.

Believe me,

We left because we care.

We loved you so much to give up on you just because we wants you to learn the pain.

At the same time, we're praying so hard to god that you would learn to love.

And that you would come to take us home someday.

We cared more than anything else in the world.

You just don't seem to see how we felt.

It might feels like we're all saying it's ur fault, you have to change!

YES! It's true.

BUT, we have our own fault too.

i know we're wrong in some ways or another.

But look at me.

Can you see it?

How much we meant when we said sorry?

The tears in our eye, our knees on the floor?

How much we tried to give you?

Love is a never ending list of forgiveness and acceptance.

We did our best but we've yet to seen yours.

I know there's times where all faults lies on the girls.

But that's life.

You can choose to pick it up and set it nicely in the drawers.

Or throw it all around for the rest of your life.

Your little puppet show.

2020-03-15T01:29:00.000+08:00

When i left, you asked me to stay.
When i stayed, you left me.

When i lied, you lied.
When i told you the truth, you take it as a passing wind.

When i turned and never looked back, you turned and looked.
When i turned to look at you, you never gave a damn.

When i hurt, you told me you're hurt.
When i tried to heal, you were always fully healed.

You told me there were scars i couldn't see, but those scars never ever exist.

Every single word, ever minor actions, even the smallest thing you do affects me.
i remembered them so well.
i remember them all.
just a call from you, a single look from you makes me feel like the world has never change.

But when i finally turned to look at reality.
All that end up as just a lie.
It was all just for show.
Just for fun.
Just for you to be entertained and occupied.
A little puppet show.

Truth or Lies?

2010-02-14T01:42:00.003+08:00

Didn't had the courage to read your blog at first.
Off it directly after i knew what you would blog about.
But i told myself.
I have to face it.
Looked back at it about a few short moments later.

Maybe we should stop lying to ourselves.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still makes each other's world a complete place to be in.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still mean alot to each other.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still love each other.
Stop lying to ourselves of how much we think we still need each other.
Stop lying to ourselves that we still miss each other.
Stop lying to ourselves that we miss the time we had together.

Because, i am happy the way i am now.
I feel happpiness and i wont hurt a single bit at all.
I'm really blessed with my guy now.

And though i know you and kim aren't in a good situation, that's why i wanna remind you even more.
You do not love me, you do not miss me and i do not mean a thing to you at all.
If so, you would have treasure me long ago.
You wouldn't had let go of me.
You wouldn't just leave me broken into pieces.
You're just lonely cause Kim do not have time with you.
You know you feel really love kim since you had stated how much she meant to you in your blog.
And you know you enjoy every moment with her by ur side.

Have you noticed?
I can tell you.
Though we were never in such position like how you and kim were now.
But the pain i used to feel is without a doubt, what you're feeling now.
Maybe way worst.

Wake up, wake up.
Cause i'm no longer here to lend you a shoulder anymore.
I would no longer be there.

Fear

2010-02-14T00:04:00.002+08:00

Eveything everything....
It just kept feeling like a dream, a lie.
Something never meant to be and will never be.
Regardless how much we've said and done.
The feeling that always felt like a lie in the depths my heart.
Never did it went away.
Not in the past and never in the present.
And i guess it'll stay the same in the future.
I dont wanna hurt no more.
Maybe we should never see each other again.
I wanna save myself one last time.
From the love so deep, so true.
Yet, no happiness would comes out from it.
Not a single smile.

The pain had never went away; it's all because of you.

2010-01-31T03:31:00.003+08:00

You made me feel as if nothing could replace us.
But in the end the truth that came out of your mouth was horrifying.
The fact that you could affect me so much scares me.
That's the only reason why i'm constantly afraid.
I wanna keep my distance from YOU.

2010-01-24T04:40:00.005+08:00

You and Me.

The Dino which kept me warm though the night.
The memories that carved so deeply within me.
The name i remembered so clearly.
The face that used to be so familar.
The voice i used to love hearing.

Somtimes... i question myself.... why?...

2009-08-31T01:55:00.004+08:00

It was me and you; Now it's me and him.

A Piece Of Advice

Falling down doesn't make u weaker.
It makes you stronger.
It makes you understand the pain and be able to learn and understand more.
The pain that others may go through when they are in ur position.
And the knowledge to know what to do and to be able to help and heal others that are in pain too.
Not to avoid, not to skip, not to run or hide.
But to face it with even more courage and give it all you've got.

Falling down doesn't give you the right to stay there and stop.
Just because u're hurt, doesn't mean u wouldn't heal and it doesn't mean you can have the rights to not heal others.
Everyone will get hurt, everyone will bleed and be left with a scar,
does that means everyone can stop moving forward and stop healing others?
Is that what you do as a Man? As a human being?
We are alive for a reason, we have hearts and mind for a reason, we have feelings and we can think for a reason.
And everyone deserves to be treated whole heartedly.

As for you, we Failed to see what was wrong with us.
Hidden in pain for too long, things got accumulated and got out of hand.
We failed to love.

My love for you were once so deep that i told myself i could still love you the same even when u enter army, i would have wait for u so patiently

Now it's too late; ღJasmine

2009-08-18T04:02:00.003+08:00

You once meant the world to me; and it never changed.

i look 'SHUAI' here. [x

NOTE TO ALL: I'VE CHANGED MY BLOG. IF U'RE MY FRIEND IN FACEBOOK, U'LL BE ABLE TO KNOW MY LINK FROM THERE.

the love from me which cant help wanting to embrace you with all i have even till eternity; ღJasmine

2009-08-04T12:48:00.004+08:00

I watch your back as you walk away from me in my dreams.

i never knew what love really feels like.
i never knew how heart breaks really hurts.
Untill i met you.
Untill we broke up.

i always thought loving someone is when that person is very nice to you,
and you feels happy about it.
and you'll just want to go out with him/her everyday.
But no, you showed me what love really was.

i always thought breaks ups are so easy to handle.
i always manage to make it through without a problem.
but why am i stuck here now?
why am i crying through the night?
why did the memories and flashback never seems to stop?
why am i in such a state of pain?

The difference you've made in my life.
The happy part, the sad part, all felt so special.
Like i'll never have another love so true.

so this is how HeartBreaks feels like; ღJasmine

2009-08-02T01:49:00.003+08:00

The ending of you and me.

It ended.
Yet the flash back wont stop.
The feeling so deep inside.
The feeling i know deep down its so true that i can never lie about it.

But it has ended.
The words have been said, the decision had been made.
I have to let go.
I have to move on.
There's no turning back.
What lies ahead is a different path now.

Blog Changes:
- New Item added to wish list.
- New songs; enjoy. ((:

i thought i could handle it, but i was wrong; ღJasmine

2009-07-28T01:19:00.002+08:00

If this was what you want;
You have it.

Sorry sorry, wrong info people!
This Wednesday then will be my CHINESE birthday. xD
mom says she's gonna cut cake with me this Wednesday night.
i'm contented enough.

feel as if i'm leading a rather simple life.
all i do is sleep, wake up, use com, eat then sleep again.
shiok!

slowly adapting to it now.

the lesson you taught me about; ღJasmine

2009-07-26T04:38:00.002+08:00

Time's running out.

Tml is sunday.
Reminds me of church.
oh well...
Tml's my Chinese birthday.

There's tons of things and possibility on my mind now.
Its bursting out.
But i'm restraining it.
I feel that there's no where i can turn to anymore.
Not even a blog can be my refuge anymore.
All my rights has been strip off because of other person's rights.
And now i feel worst.

So have i made the wrong choice?
And the result now is i'm left with nothing.
Well, it's my own fault after all.
The responsibility is mine alone to bare.
After all, its the decision i made that results in this outcome.

No no, not trying to get sympathy.
Don't need that. (:
i'm fine like this.

the lesson you taught me about; ღJasmine

2009-07-25T01:36:00.003+08:00

The memories that made me smile;
even when i walked down the road alone.

Today went down to CHEC to return Joann the 10bucks she lent me on Wednesday.
If it wasn't for her, i would have been able to have my listening.
THANKS A MILLION UHS!

Me and baby is still in an complex situation.
But when i finally turned my back and walk away from him, putting everything down and decided to let it go, I manage to see what's wrong with us.

It's all a misunderstanding.
After all the pain we got from our previous relationships.
The pain from those relationships had build a cation wall.
And we became too sensitive and stuff.
So when the alarm starts to ring, we panic and build a gap.
Hoping when the fire stops, we will be able to return.
But it made an opposite effect.

Baby, i want you to know that i love you for who you are.
Not because i want someone to kill time with.
I simply love you and just want to be with the one i love every single day of my life.
I don't want any day left missing with you.
I just wanna spent my laughter, joy and sadness with you.
I wanna be there for you and i hope you can be there for me.
I know this is selfish and too sticky.
I understand that there are time when u want time alone with ur frens.
Though i get sad, but i don't mind letting you do what you want.

I long for your love and your smile and the heart so pure that i can never stop loving.

I'm sorry for letting you misunderstand that i'm hooking other guys and stuff.
I know i'm being too close to them.
I promise to have more self awareness about the limits.

But baby, no matter how much i express, how much i say i love you.
I know we're both broken.
We fell, we bleed, we hurt and shattered.
This relationship...
I WANT IT TO GO ON.

But i lost the way, the confident.
i know u do too.
It hurts, it's scary, we're lost.
I'm scared.
Scared to lose you, scared to walk on.
I don't know what will come again at us.
What misunderstanding will it be next?
How strong are our relationship?
Will we be able to take another blow even if this time we manage to get through?
I dont want our love to end.
But will we be able to make it through?

tell me you love me, show me you love me, because my love for you will be endless; ღJasmine

P.S: i dont want this addiction to end.

2009-07-23T17:17:00.008+08:00

The part of me which died.

Down with flu today.
Can't stop sneezing and it's getting irritating.
Stayed home today.
Don't feel like going out at all.
Sorry to those who asked me out today.

Photos and videos are amazing creations.
They bring back happy memories. ♥

the slightest and simplest things that makes my heart flutter and tears; ღJasmine

2009-07-20T16:52:00.002+08:00

What will you do if you were me?
If you were able to see what i see
and feel what i feel?

I've been still struggling about to study first or to work first.
though there's little time left but if i put my heart into studying, two and a half month would be quite enough.
provided i study EVERY single day.

but mom says that she know i cannot do it.
she ask me to work this year and study next year.
so, okay...
i shall do as told and go back CHEC next year.

Remember i told you guys about my job interview?
yeah...
I got the job!
but i'll be only starting work next month.
awww...
means another month of suffering before i can get the pay.
I HOPE I CAN EARN AT LEAST $700 for next month!

then i wanna either buy a new HP or Dye my hair.
BUGGET abit, can only have either one next month.
xD

Had TOTALLY NOTHING to do today so kep surfing the net.
trying to keep myself busy so i won't think so much.
am thinking which phone should i get.
because recently, sonny ericson has a new model: W995
- It comes in RED COLOR [i like it!]
- and it's camera is 8.1MP + 16X digital zoom [WTH!!!!]
- and it's a MUSIC WALKMAN PHONE!!!
- color 262K
- slider design
- has wifi

TALK ABOUT WANTING GOOD CAMERA AND MUSIC AT THE SAME TIME.
the only thing it left out was... TOUCH SCREEN!!!
wth... if touch screen i comfirm buy!
cause i hate it when my nails break from pushing too much HP buttons.

Diamond2:
- 5MP cam + 8X digital zoom
- candybar design
- touch screen
- not bad music
- color 65k
- has wifi

So now it's Sonny ericson W995 VS HTC Diamond2

VS

DAMNIT!
to choose a non nail breaker or a nail breaker?
[x

i lost my confident and you lost your sight; ღJasmine

2009-07-16T10:01:00.002+08:00

The love and gentleness i longed for;
just like a prince, we'll make our fairytale.

baby, i just read your blog.
it makes me REALLY HAPPY to hear that u still loves and care about me.
i feel all fire up all of a sudden. xD

i wanna love you and be as happy as how we used to be.
will that be possible for us?
let's work hard together alright?

I LOVE YOU MY BABY!; ღJasmine

2009-07-16T09:32:00.004+08:00

i wished i hasn't dreamt of u last night;
because it was all a dream.

Looking at all our photos, our videos; gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.
But when i look at how we are now.
The warm feeling turn icy cold at the dept of my heart.

Will we ever be the same again?
i question myself again and again.
Afraid to move forward nor backwards.
What do i have to do? What can i do?
Trying to lift myself up and move but the fear stops me.
Fear of falling, again and again.

Countless times i feel like just turning around and walk away.
But i never manage to do it.

What have become of us now?
What to do to be able to be like before?
idk, i'm scared, i'm in pain, we're in pain.

i'm still thinking a solution...
what can we do to make things better?...

YTD, went to had my O levels chinese oral.
nervous yet the conversation part is not bad i think.
Then look for the cleaner aunty and talk to her a little.
A PSB guy walk towards us and we started chatting.
He's the aunty's fren.
He intor me about PSB and studies stuff.
He gave me his name card and ask for my phone number so that he can give me more info about PSB.
i accepted the card but say it's okay, when i wan to know more about PSB, i'll call him, since i have his name card.

After that went to Orchard paragon and had my INTERVIEW.
all the france bosses are scary and so formal. T^T
train down to bugis after that to look for mummy to eat tgt.
After that train home again.
Having a terrible headache so decided to sleep after a while.
And today, i'm awake at 8plus.
My bio clock has changed to sleeping early and waking up early.
is this good news or what? (:

i need an island to refuge; ღJasmine

2009-07-14T22:26:00.003+08:00

Blurred in your eyes;
the image of me.

Today woke up msg baby Good Morning.
He didn't reply.
~~sad~~
went to face book and saw that he was active about 25min after 11.01am
so i decided to try again.
waited almost an hour for his reply.
msg quite abit afterwards.

Miss my O level oral today.
was being inform abit too late.
So i went to polyclinic and had an MC.
TML going down to have my oral.
~~worried~~
Hope it'll not be too bad. T^T

at night, baby finally called me.
it doesn't take much to make me happy. (:

TML's me and baby's 4th month.
What will happen tml?...
i'm worried.

and i happen to come across this bulletin about girls in facebook.
i swear its so true:

1. We only talk about our ex boyfriends to explain how much better YOU are than they were, no other reason.

2. IT'S THE TRUTH! We need a little challenge too. It's OK to act a little uninterested sometimes (don't go screwing some other chick or extreme behavior of the sort), we like to have to work to keep you by our side too. If you are too sweet, too fast, a girl could possibly lose interest.

3. We don't buy things because we expect gifts back, we are being genuinely nice.

4. Girls don't always want to hang out with girls. Just because we have guy friends does not mean that we want to be with them. We probably already had the chance and didn't take it.

5. If you mess up, we will almost always get angry before we actually calmly explain everything.

6. We do not all like dollies and pink. Do not treat us like we are fragile.

7. If we complain to you, it is because we confide in you, not because we want to torture you.

8. Don't expect us to make the same mistakes your ex did. If we do, it is not because there is some huge conspiracy against you. Maybe you are making a mistake, not us. Do not compare our mistakes to hers.

9. Girls get jealous too, usually worse than guys. We always feel like we have to fight for you, and will say anything mean about any girl you were speaking to, even if we never met her. Don't take offense, be glad we care so much about it.

10. Do not make promises or tell us you'll call when you know you'll forget or fall asleep. We will wait hours for that call. Just tell us you'll talk to us tomorrow.

11. if there's another girl, tell us. You might be surprised at our reaction. We don't all want to be serious either. It beats sneaking around.

12. We really do feel unattractive or overweight. There is a lot of competition out there. We need to be assured, even if its 600 times.

13. We don't search for compliments in the way you think. We are helping you by telling you exactly what we need to hear. Do not get annoyed, it will most likely cause an argument.

14. We want to hear we are prettier than the girl in the magazine, even if its not true. We don't think its cheesy. Stick to it, no matter how hard we push you.

15. We DO want to be called hot by you, just not all the time. Change it up.

16. We know you don't care about what happened in our day, but listen. It hurts us a lot when you don't pay attention.

17. We watch plenty of movies with you where girls remove clothing and do outrageously abnormal sexual things. When we ask you to watch a love story with us, we only want to spend time with you. It will not kill you, and it doesn't make you less of a man.

18. We don't mean to embarrass you. Don't get so angry with us when we do. We already feel terrible. We'll try not to next time.

19. Flowers and chocolate don't make everything better. You do.

20. We don't want to change you. We met you the way you are, and we love you. The suggestions are just that. We are used to changing a lot about our appearance, and mean not to offend you.

21. We are not all materialistic. Back rubs and making us dinner (even if its a sandwich because you can't cook!) are plenty sweet enough.

22. We like to pamper you, just don't take advantage.

23. Don't expect us to cook for you all the time. If we do, appreciate it, and let us know you do.

24. We don't really want a fairytale romance. You have your fantasy girls, we have our fantasy love. It's meant to stay that way. We want what's real, too.

25. We think you are the hottest guy in the world, no matter what anyone says, or what you do.

26. If you are a friend, do not ever agree with a girl when she calls her boyfriend anything along the lines of an asshole. Stand up for him and try to be positive. She may get mad initially, but she will later appreciate it and probably realize she was just overreacting. If she loves him, even if he really is a jerk, she will not take your advice to leave him. She will only do that when she feels she is ready to. If you try to convince her she will question your motives and may not want to speak to you.

27. Don't expect us to always come to you. We want you to come see us too.

28. We don't like to be nagged about where we are going or what we are doing either, but we usually hear you out.

29. We might let you go, but we are never "cool" wih you going to strip clubs. We are being very understanding by letting you go. It is advised that you be just as understanding about our feelings towards it. Please do not come home and tell us about it. We'll like to pretend it never happened.

30. Do not call us crazy. We are emotional and act in mysterious ways, but you are pushing a huge button when you call us crazy.

31. We go to the club to dance with our GIRL friends, not other guys. No, it is not the same if you go. We all know you are not dancing by yourself or with your guy friends. Be reasonable with your comparisons.

32. No, PMS is not an excuse, but we do not mean to be shitty to you. It IS a biological fact. Expect an apology, but you do not have the ability to sympathize with dealing with cramps or unstable emotions, so try to be understanding.

33. It is a general rule: Do not speak about other women in front of us. Women are apt to be much more insecure than men, and while we should not be talking about men in front of you either, you are setting yourself up for more of those "searching for compliment" questions. That, and its plain disrespectful. Just do it when we aren't around.

34. We will always get annoyed when you act cocky. We know who you really are and we love you. We will deal with it, but we absolutely detest it.

35. If you are a friend, respect your fellow man and do not attempt to woo her or try to get her to participate in questionable things. She will try to ignore it, but she HATES it.

36. We dress sexy because we want YOUR sexual attention, no one elses.

37. We don't put on makeup to impress anyone but ourselves. Do not worry if we put it on just to go to the store.

38. We may hang out all day with friends, and not call or talk to you, but at night, we just want to be next to you.

39. We like to have clean fun. What you may think is ridiculous and boring, we may actually find exciting, especially when we do it with closest friends. Don't try to understand. Just accept it.

40. When we cry, just listen. Even if you have no idea what we are talking about or saying. All we need is to feel heard.

41. Be careful when you roughhouse with us. We might act like we want you to really try, but we know you are stronger than us.

42. Not all girls are afraid to feel inferior to their man, just don't be condescending.

43. Tell us your fantasies. we want to fulfill them.

44. We probably like the same things you do in bed, you just haven't given us time to get comfortable with you. We aren't all freaks from the get-go. Give us a chance.

45. just because we don't have sex with you when you offer it doesn't mean we don't want to or we are trying to tease you. Our mothers taught us wisely. Be patient: if you can't, move on.

46. We aren't porn stars, do not hold such high standards.

47. unless you want us to treat you like you don't matter around OUR friends, don't treat US that way.

48. We're nice to your family because we want them to like us, so we can be closer to you. It does not always mean we like them.

49.Just because we say we love you doesn't mean we want to get married. You don't have to get sacred and run away. We'll understand if you don't feel that way too.Remember that we are emotional. We just need to know where we stand with you.

50. We're not trying to betray you when we ask your guy friends advice on our relationship with you. They know you best, and we're probably only saying good things about you anyway.

51. We don't expect you to be like the guys in the movies that romance the girl. We know life isn't like that. Don't worry so much about doing amazing things, just thoughtful things. For instance; cleaning dishes, spending the night alone, making the bed, or remembering something that she might forget. We appreciate that so much more.

52. Don't freak out about Valentine's day or anniversaries. If the girl is mad that you forgot your three month anniversary, she needs to grow up (move on, it's ok). Kisses, cards, and/or just a Happy Valentine's day hug are absolutely acceptable. We understand that you can't buy or do outrageous things.

53. Tell us what you want in bed. You are not as easy to figure out by reactions. If you want it, just ask.
Don't push it if she won't do it. She probably has good reason, and it will just make her feel terrible if she can't or isn't comfortable with doing it. We never want to deprive you.

54. It's ok to confide in us, even if you cry. We will not tell the world of your weaknesses or make you feel less masculine because of it.

55. We don't expect you to have 6 pack abs, nor do we really want you to. Like huge boobs and perfect asses, they are just nice to look at.

56. We don't want to hear about your past sexual endeavors. We really don't care how many people you've been with, just that you are with us now. However, we are naturally curious, and will ask questions. Don't EVER answer them. EVER. No matter what we say.

57. Hide your porn properly. We don't want to know that you have it or use it. It hurts to know that we may not be providing you with something that you need.

58. Girls snoop. Especially when we just meet you. We're sorry, but we automatically have no trust in you, and must find out for ourselves what you are like. A lot of us won't admit it, and may never tell you that we have. It's a terrible habit of which we are ashamed. Remember this when you have old photos or other things you do not want us to see in your room.

59. Most girls will just want you to be honest with them, even if it hurts. If you just want sex, make it clear. Not all girls need to be lied to to get them in bed. We like to have fun too. If the one you are going after is not interested, I'm sure there's another at the bar more than willing.

60. Do not sleep with a girl if she is drunk unless you are prepared for the worst drama of your life. She may deny it, she may own up to it, she may make you look like a schmuck to the entire town. Either way, know the consequences

is there anything about guys? =X

smiling and looking into each others eyes; it's gone; ღJasmine

P.S: Broke down again today; sensitive&emotion, i know. [information sake]

2009-07-14T04:50:00.002+08:00

Dreams are dreams;
there's a point of time when we have to wake up.

Today woke up 8.40am+.
msg baby good morning and went off to use com.
Think alot today.
and kinda made a decision...

Afternoon, mummy woke up.
ask her to bring me out if not i might suffocate at home.
Went shopping.
Bought 1set of clothes, a belt, a necklace and ankle socks.
Forgot to bring my HP out.
worried that someone might contact me.
BUT IT PROVE ME WRONG.
and prove my theory right.
~~depressed~~

Came back home, did some house chores and went to bed.
msg baby good night.
but no reply.

woke up not long ago.
couldn't sleep anymore.
been feeling sick.
Who cares?
die better.

been looking sad recently...

would you notice me; ღJasmine

2009-07-13T10:02:00.002+08:00

There's no other;
look into my eyes and tell me i'm the only one you see.

i wish my mummy wake up soon and bring me go shopping and stuff.
Then can buy a few clothes i've been eying on and take lota pictures.
i'm dead bored at home.
with no MONEY to even go out.

Somehow i feel like i've forgotten something important today.
Oh, whatever.

alot of things been bothering me...
it hurts and it's depressing...
i hope all well, ends well...

take a look at me; ღJasmine

2009-07-12T22:23:00.004+08:00

Would everything be alright;
even though we're sorry?

Finally willing to take photo with my lousy 2MP HP.
T^T

Today woke up around 11am.
Used com all the way.
Then 4.50 went to prepare and all.
Then met mummy for dinner @ the Jap FoodCourt.

After that went shopping alittle.
Bought two shoes.
And help mummy choose some new clothes.
Hahas.

Been craving for shopping since April.
Haven got to do that as i'm always broke.
I'm so gonna work full time for the next job.
FULL TIME!!!
earn lots lots money & go shopping!
And eat good food with baby!
My money is Baby's money! ♥

Me and baby's 4th month coming le.
i hope i have enough money to celebrate with him.
Having money problems now.
And my contact lens is long over due but i'm still wearing it.
-Waiting to turn blind-
DAMNIT!

the other day i went to fareast and cut hair.
i saw tons of pretty clothes!!!
OMG!
Shopping~~~ T^T

Any way, here's the shoe mummy bought for me.

This is pretty i swear

Curve BLACK shoe! [interesting & very comfortable!]

Sometime ago, had breakfirst at StarBucks in the morning.
Latte wif strawberry yogurt and...

AND Yummy waffle!

And i'm currently in love with a HTC phone.

HTC Diamond2

The look of it is pretty and its 5MP and touch screen so it won't break my nails anymore!
I hope the music sounds would be nice and loud enough.
AIMING THIS PHONE AS MY NEXT TARGET BUDDY. [x

it doesn't change e fact bt strengthens one ♥, if it didn't, there's no point anymore; ღJasmine

2009-07-12T12:22:00.003+08:00

The face i long to see,
the hand i long to hold,
the warmth i long to feel;
It's all back.

YTD chat with baby in MSN in the morning then noticed he was sick.
so went to bought papaya, ham and bread for him.
Papaya is rich in Vitamin C which is good to kill flu virus or whatever u call that.
Then Ham and bread is just in case my baby hungry.
Then can eat.

It was raining and baby's sleeping.
So i walk to baby house and waited under his block for him to wake up.
Saw Ramat on the way there.
He was going to his grandma house so he accompany me a while for the rain to stop.
When the rain finally stop.
Baby woke up.
so i went up and left the stuff by the door for him and left.

Then baby ask me to come up.
So happily, i did!
When baby gave me a nice warm hug, tears kinda start coming out of my eyes.
After that i went in his house with him, waited for him to finish bathing then we watch 3movies tgt.
First was Watchman, then after that was a murdering case with police and blood and gore show, then it was a comedy show but watched half way then need go meet Joanne and Vince.
After that they came up again and we watch X-Family and waited for the others to be ready then we go 85 market eat.
baby treat me eat.
Then chat with Joanne alot.
And did meet Willy, Wei yi along with CJ and two other people.
They were doing their video of violence again at the near by playground.
WOAH!

After that, we cab back and went to Joanne house.
She lent me a couple of stuff for the night.
The shorts she lent me sure is special.
i don't even know how to tie it.
have to ask baby to help me tie it in the end.
hahas.

After that walk Vince home as the guys wanna drink water or something.
Then i cannot breath properly.
Too much plants~~~

after that we head off home, baby home.
Changed and went to sleep all the way till afternoon 2.30pm.
It's so good to be able to hug baby to sleep.
Make me feel like never wanting to sleep alone again anymore.
It's like a dream...

The first thing u see when u open ur eyes in the morning.
The one you love.
You turn over and hug him, looking at his sleeping face and whispered a "Good morning."
Not expecting him to reply, he surprised you with a "Morning..."
And you smiled, slowly bend over and softly kissed his cheek.
Lying back down, looking at him still sleeping, or maybe half aslp.
You hug him and start to feel so warm and fuzzy again.
Eyes start to close and you fall aslp back in his arms.
-doki doki-

when baby wake up, we tickle each other and all on the bed a while.
then he went on to use his lovely com play games while i on song with my Hp and slack.
But we still continue disturb each other a little here and there.

After that bath and all and we went out to parkway and met up with Marc and his GF.
Chat with his GF quite alot.
and i'm quite proud of myself for being able to make a few girl friends which i'm very bad at.
xD

After they finish their food in Mac.
Baby send me off to the bus stop.
Then i took BUS135 to AMK and train home from there.
tired tired...
slept all the way on the bus.

Got home, tio nag, cook raman.
Then went out to meet Ramat at the mrt station as my pack is with him.
WTF!
i dunno how it even left with 8 sticks.
and worst is, i dont remember how much i actually left.
but i'm sure i didn't took that much.
-FORGET IT-

went home and ate my raman, watched show and waited till like 3 or 4plus.
baby still not home so i went to sleep first.
then 6 plus baby still haven msg me that he reach home already.
so i msg him again.
he said he playing mahjong.
then this morning, i saw his msg.
he lost 200+ bucks!
WTH...
oh well...
i hope next month would be better month filled with more money!
xD

No, i don't wanna go through another of those things called, 'QUARREL' again; ღ Jasmine

2009-07-10T06:26:00.004+08:00

Bet On It;
Let's Take Another Chance & Give It Another Try.
We'll Never Know If It'll Success Unless We Try Again.

How many days has it been since i last saw baby???...
i miss my baby...

What will become of us now?...

Today finally had my haircut at 5.30pm.
Cut something like bangs.
Here's the photo!

there's some uneven strains of hair. xD

i want to be able to love you again; ღ Jasmine

2009-07-09T07:15:00.007+08:00

if you will only appear when the lights are out;
i will turn off my lights and wait for you.

didn't go cut hair ytd.
my eyes were so freaking red that i fear that i will scared people off thinking i am a zombie or smth.
so went to slp from 12pm to 8pm
mummy bought me dinner and i ate it.

after that suffocated at home till i couldn't take it anymore.
been wanting to go out and walk around to loosen up abit.
quarreling with my parents; i finally walked out of my house at 1am
tears ran down my face as i walked out.

train down to AMK and bused to find nehemiah.
talk alot.
been wanting to msg Baby since morning but didn't have the courage to.
nehemiah pushed me to msg him and i finally accumulate enough courage to do so.
~~he didnt reply~~
my courage felt like it drop back down to zero.

mummy even called me and KaoPeh me.
so i hung up and cried ~~again~~
sadly, nehemiah only have toilet paper for me to wipe my tears.

after that we watch clips in youtube of magic tricks.
learn a trick or two. (:

after that we went out to smoke.
pick up my courage again to msg BABY.
gave myself a pad on the back after that.
he's probably sleeping by then.
~~idk~~

nehemiah fell aslp while talking to me in his room around 4amplus.
recalled alot of memories of me and baby.
the day i lost my wallet after i got my new sim card and baby went around to help me look for it.
and the day we slept at nehemiah's room floor along with timmoty and carman.
[his morning glory whole night.]
xD
and alot alot more.

when its going to 5am, i look through my msges and noticed its about to full up.
so cleared my inbox from 5am to 5.30pm and went downstair to eat alone.
then bus back to AMK MRT station and then train back to yishun and went home.

i miss him...
not just because i needed someone to pei me du guo everyday.
but i miss his presences.
though it gets irritating sometime when he keep on looking at chio bu,
and i gets all jealous[SERIOUSLY]
but...
it's just that i selfishly only wants him for myself.
its him that i want to be with everyday, every min, every second of my life.
someone i dont want to have missing in my life.

i'm sorry baby...
for not contecting you,
for leaving you waiting,
for leaving you thinking,
for blaming you and
for breaking the promise of never to give up easily.
i'm sorry.

and lastly...
you're the one i wished so BADLY to spend my birthday with.
even though i have my family, my friends...
but it'll never be completed without ur presences...
i'm still very depress about my birthday.
infact, on that day, i wished i was NEVER BORN...

and actually, i didn't even cut a cake.
i told my mom i dont want to.
sorry nehemiah, i lied to you.
my excuse is: because i wanted to be alone for a while.
i didn't return home at all after i told u i was.
i walked around yishun and...
yeah...
~~cried.~~

sorry, i kept saying i cried but i'm not asking for pitiness.
this is my blog, i just felt like blogging it down.

To Lonely boii:
Hey, thanks for ur long long and totally filled up my tagbored de TAGS.
You woke me up. So... Thanks for the wake up call. (:
and... i love him!
So... i'm not gonna give up this relationship.
Unless... he wants to.
But before that, i will try my best.
i'm already thinking of ways to apolegise.
Even if it takes me to seems like a BIANTAI.
even if i am, i am only gonna be ANDY'S BIAN TAI.
hahas. [x

if your love is true; don't leave me.
because mine aren't fake either.
i want to be with you; even if it takes up the rest of my life and beyond ; ღ Jasmine

2009-07-08T10:37:00.004+08:00

If i were to die tomorrow;
What would you do?

Don't know what's wrong with my body recently...
having insomnia, gastric pain, headache, mang chang tong and stitches quite often lately.
haven slept for 2days...
AM I GONNA DIE SOON?
=X

i wanna go cut hair, cut hair cut hair!!!
a while more i'm going to bath and go down fareast alone and ask my hair dresser for opinion and see if today can cut not.
i'm left with 16 bucks. T^T
needa lend from my parents for the haircut.
scared that the hair wouldn't fit me.

hugged my DINO the whole night.
almost created another Singapore river.
xD

and my gastric been hurting since 5 in the morning?
and it's still hurting now.
think i'm gonna hab gastric problem soon.
weak body i have here.

oh yeah, and i'm having abit of flu.
better than fews days ago though.

contriditing(:
i'm trying not to think about it and think about it at the same time.
as in not the sad part but the happy part and how to solve it now.
GYAAA!
GOD DAMNIT!
life is so troublesome...

P.S: i dont know anymore.

if only SORRY is the BACKSPACE in life; ღJasmine

2009-07-08T03:39:00.003+08:00

Today slept from 1.30pmplus to 4pm.
bath and met up with christ kor and joel di.
ate abit then they left.
meet mummy then go sakae sushi eat.
after that 9plus went to sambawang meet matt and yuhang.
10plus went off home.
then 11.50plus went off to meet nehemiah.

2009-07-07T06:27:00.009+08:00

Cant stop the tears from falling;
We used to be so fine; When you walked into my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF.[ fucking birthday like u've said.]

what can i do?
there's nothing.
waiting for u to do smth?...
yeah...
i couldn't think of any other way.
saying i was giving up...
yeah, dumb i agree.

if i keep asking, wouldn't it be irritating for u?
if i keep thinking, would it even be productive?

the worst girl u met?
i agreed, i never said i was the best.
all i know is how to love & accept & give whatever i can give...
solving problem was never my thing,
that's why my relationship with anyone has never been a good one.
blame who?
blame me for not being clever enough. [i'm just blaming myself]
seriously, i know i am never a clever person.

i tot of ways:
- go down to school and wait for u?
are u even in school? won't i seems like a stalker/bian tai? knowing u dont wanna talk to me. do going down mean anything?
-go ur house wait for u?
it would seems even more bian tai. =="
- msg/msn u and talk it out?
u dont wanna tell me what's wrong and i keep pestering u, won't u find it a bother?

waiting was my only option.
because of the insecurity, i dunno if i might just make u hate me more or smth...
what else could i do, u tell me?

no point telling me, i wont understand, fucking birthday, worst girl, fucking bitch, pathetic, attract attention, make the whole world think u treat me badly, not mature enough...
these words are said by who to who?
no no no, i'm dead, it doesn't hurt me.
=.=

i know i'm nt the only one hurting.
i did not only consider my own feelings.
i did tot of u too.
if not why don't i just say those nosensical words to u too?
because i know it'll hurt u.
why i always kept quiet all of a sudden, why i never really complained about anything, why i never tell u what's wrong with me all of a sudden?
becoz i tot of u.
i just swallow down whatever it is and take it.
like miss evon said, when u love someone, u gotta accept them as who they are, that's wad i did.
i didn't complain, didn't ask u to change.
because love is present.

baby, i really don't know what's wrong.
i can only keep asking, what's wrong with us now?
it's up to u whether u wanna answer me or just keep pushing my inproductive brain to THINK.

the only thing i could think of is
1. i didn't contact you after that day's quarrel.
2. i went out with my last time frens without telling you.
3. didn't contact u for the following days.
4. got fucking drunk one stupid night and cried like a dog.

and why when i didn't contact u, u dont contact me.
its not like i said "DONT SMS ME".
i didn't.

i didn't msg u cause i dont wan you to say "why is it everytime after we quarrel, you acted like nothing has happen the next morning"
so i kept quiet waiting.
everytime i was the one who looked for u, ask u where u are, i go find you, have u eaten, u wake up for school already yet and stuff.
why is it that u can't just pick up ur hp and just sms me when u miss me.
just by saying u miss me in ur blog at the end of the day without a call or msg doesn't really prove the fact.

baby, do u know waiting for ur msg and calls are like waiting for miracle.
its as if only when something big happen then u will call or msg me.
is it really that hard to pick up ur phone and dial those numbers and type those words?

i'm sorry that i'm complaining now.
i'm sorry i cannot tell u in ur face.
i can't.
ur face scares me.
i don't dare to speak about this while looking at ur face.
it scares me to see u angry.
that's why i always choose to run/walk away.
my mind always goes blank.
i can't think for myself when i look at u.
all i can think for is you when u're standing infront of me.
"how to make him not angry", "how should i apolegise", "what should i say" was all i could think of.
nothing for myself, none, zero.

while looking at u, i envy u.
u can speak ur mind, state ur points even though i am right infront of u.

i'm not tryiong to provoke u.
i'm not.

anyway, today's ur last day of probation.
*clap clap*
congratz!
go enjoy urself to the fullest tml bahhs.
i know u will, i know u can, even without me.

anyway...
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF AGAIN.

Upcomming programes:
8 july going cut hair.
12 july going out with sarah
15 or 16 july going job interview
19 july meeting sec school group for movie.

the rest are all still empty so people, meet me up alright? (:

to all those who wish me a happy birthday like Baby, ZhiHaoKOr, Joel di, AndyLum, PohLi, huat, chewping, amos, ahHuai, Sebas, JasmineKhool, tiFf=), Nehemiah and my cousin GiGi, seriously, THANKS YOU! (:

can you hear me? just take me with you; ღJasmine

it'll be the best present if you could,
embrace me with ur warmth & love once more.
wholeheartedly i shall receive.

2009-07-07T00:21:00.010+08:00

iloveyou;
but what can i do?

firstly baby,
i'm not telling the world i am so pitiful nor trying to attractions attention.
i'm just expressing myself in my own blog and looking for people to celebrate my birthday.
secondly,
i am really dumb enough to not know what's actually wrong with us.
i will never know unless u tell me.
3th,
i did type i hate you but it was because the pain was unbearable.
i dunno what u think, what u want and what's wrong so it was like 'yi qi zhi xia'
4th,
thanks you for wishing me a happy birthday.
atleast in this sad day, i could still smile for a few second.

but i really feel like giving up soon...
[asshole[me]]

and to all those who wish me a happy birthday like ZhiHaoKOr, Joel di, AndyLum, PohLi, huat, chewping, amos, ahHuai, Sebas, JasmineKhool, tiFf=), Nehemiah and my cousin, seriously, THANKS YOU! (:

humans makes mistakes; ღJasmine

2009-07-06T14:26:00.002+08:00

i dunno what got into it.
i suddenly snap out of it.

Maybe my logic start to work again.
LOL.

if there's love, there's a way.
if there's no love, there no way.
simple as that.

and so, i believe in LOVE.

and life is not all about love of lovers but love or family and frens too.
so shall not be so stuck anymore.
find frens and go out & be happy! (:

2009-07-06T09:31:00.003+08:00

“ You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story. ”

please make the pain go away.
izzit me or are u ignoring me now or smth?
i dunno what's up wif us anymore.
are we in it or out of it?
birthday are no different from other days.
i just want it to be a normal one; fill my days with you & your love.

i always read the lyrics, stories and poem that love is like poison.
i dont quite understand the meaning of it.
untill now..
killing you from inside out, slowly, silently, torturing you, tearing you apart.
knowing every second without an antidote, you're dying.

kill me fast, i dont wanna suffer like this no more; ღJasmine

2009-07-05T23:07:00.002+08:00

Don't blog, don't see, don't care, don't wait.
i'm not gonna blog today, i'm not staying today, i'm not gonna on my phone on sound today.
trying my best not to care, not to bother.
but infact, secretly, i'm still waiting.

i hate this part.

Tuesday my birthday.
it seems so meaningless now.

birthday...
so?
no big deal.

fuck it...
i give up.

2009-07-05T12:17:00.002+08:00

fuck.
i hate you.

2009-07-04T23:04:00.003+08:00

Once More;
i wanna see ur smile & hold you in my arms

Today's the 4th day without baby.
waited and waited...
hoping baby will msg and call me soon..
no msg, no calls, nothing.
asking myself again and again, should i just contact him myself or just wait.
chosen waited in the end.
can't stop wondering why baby never call nor msg.
asking myself "do baby not miss me?"
"if he do, why he dont want msg me?"
day by day...
the more i feel the phone is useless.

but now i realize, baby had the same choice as me; wait.
why?...

been catching up with some 'long time no see' frens recently.
nami, bryan & YuHang.
multi racial.
Malay, Indian & chines.

watched movie, go eat, play poker cards most of the time.
met elisious, kel, zul, kuma from them.
manage to enlarge my circle of frens abit.

day spent without my baby can never compare to the time when we're tgt.

i miss him...

i want no one other than YOU; ღJasmine

2009-06-30T12:05:00.003+08:00

Reality;
It's not just Rainbows&Butterflies.

though this is a new blog created this year, i already had 71post!
not bad huh~

but my last blog has 380+ post.
xD

Today stayed home, didnt meet baby.
morning woke up 8am plus.
first thing that come through my mind every morning when i wake up is "did baby go school today?"
msg him to see if he's awake.
he replied, "ya"

so i went to use com after that.

been keeping myself in thoughts today.
think and concluding.
asking myself again and again the same question.
concluding this concluding that.
i'm tired of needing to think so much.
it never stops every single day.
compressing, trying to understand, trying to think of a solution.

is it really so important to blame?
is punishment really needed?
i don't understand anymore.
the love i know, is not the love i see.
so what is love?
i don't get it anymore!

i simply just wish that when i open my eye tml morning, it'll be alright.
every year i wish my birthday will be a happy one.
without having to feel sad or cry.
because ever since i cried during my birthday when i was in primary school.
since then, every birthday has been filled with sadness...
its like the happiness i can feel during my birthday is limited.
it's like what the old people said, its like a curse.
year over year i told myself i'm too 'Mi Xing'.
but year over year i tell myself the next year will be different.
and yet year over year, its a different kind of sadness.
shall not think so much...

looking back, i feel like the world's changing.
not the develop kind of changing.
but the people hearts and the feeling everyone gives out.
maybe i am slowly growing out of my own little fantasy world and facing reality.
things aren't just rainbows and butterfly anymore.

this childish thing called LOVE; ღJasmine

2009-06-29T20:01:00.002+08:00

Run Away;
To a place no one will find me.

Tired tired...
didn't sleep last night.
baby too.

lun whole morning then go meet baby at Doubby Gaut.
Late for an hour...
*Sorry Sorry~*

he was with Roger.
-heng ar-

then after that walk to bugis.
bought the omelet noodle set or smth.
while waiting for the food to be ready i went to bought coke for me and baby.
i'll rate the noodle a 1/5.
SUPER SALTISH AND GOT CAO DA.

temper isn't that good today.
baby too.
think cause we didn't sleep.

when looking for the meeting point; quarrel.
when decided to not watch movie and go home instead; quarrel.
and i bet there's still alot of time we felt pissed off just that we didn't mention it.
haiis...

FUCK MY LIFE.
I HATE MYSELF.
DIE!

i hope the world ends soon.
misery will then disappeared from the face of earth when no one's left.

its because of the way i am that i hate myself; ღJasmine

2009-06-29T03:51:00.003+08:00

Sunday; June 28 2oo9

Some...
Words are better off not being told.
Thoughts are better off not known.
and therefore, it turns into secrets that will never be found out.
As so long i keep it to myself.

Today slept all the way till 8pm.
use com and chat with baby all the way.
Today damn no life.

DeadBeat Boyfriend
Click here to view this short clip.

That's all for today.

i love you anyway; ღJasmine

2009-06-28T06:33:00.006+08:00

Saturday; June 27 2oo9

Today baby called me when he's on his way to meet officer.
Chat a little and hung up as he said he's kinda tired, wanna rest on bus awhile.
This silly boyfriend of mine then missed his stop and kinda got lost in the end.
So he cab down to the place and lend money from his officer to pay cab fare.

Dumb dumb.

After that i met his at Toa Payoh.
Took bus 8 back to his house and he went to sleep while i entertain his little bro a lit and fell aslp too.

Woke him up at 8pm plus.
He called and report to his officer then around 10.50pm we went down to meet up with Jeremy&XiaoPang.
then walk to the basketball court near by met up with Justin&Ben.
then had dinner.
Jeremy&XiaoPang left not long after we bought our food.
Then met up with Vince and slack under a blk.
On the way back to baby house to pee, saw Joe.
his reaction when he see us is super STUNNING & SUSPICIOUS.

After peeing, went back to meet the rest again.
Talk about joe reaction to them and talk about the TaiJi stuff.
Things suddenly seems so serious and scary.
Baby is worried about my safety since i'm at the place where its most dangerous.
Yeah, because of the CRAZY NUT ASS MAN.
so i hugged baby and reassure him everything's gonna be alright!

After that slack at the play ground all the way.
Very tired and sleepy.
Decided to cab home around 3am.
reach home around 4am.

Ate a bit of food and played facebook a while.
Now super sleepy.
Shall go sleep le.
Good night people!

Signing out; ღJasmine

2009-06-27T03:22:00.004+08:00

The Numbness I Crave For;
no more sadness, i don't wanna know.

Here to blog again.

Been some time since i last update my Wants&Need.

But guess there's not much on the need part as i'm no longer studying.

WANTS:
1.Go hougang look for skincare doc to stop the pimples from growing!
2.Trim eyebrows
3.False eyelash
4.Dye Hair
5.Cut hair
6.Reborn only the tail of my Hair.
7.Hair extension [as i think my hair not long enough]
8.Camera [i wanna take picture of the beautiful world we live in]
9.Blusher
10.More new clothes.
11. New wallet
12. New shoes

NEEDS:
1. A JOB!

Mum, dad and sis has been constantly asking me to go find a job.
They even ask me to work with my second sis at the CosCafe maid restaurant which is feature in iLOVE[that comes wif iWeekly]
Oh yeah, my sis has been feature in the magazine.
She complains that the photo editor make her face look so fat.
[guess she has become fat after all =X ]

baby asked me to work either as a promoter or at a bookstore.
He doesn't wan me to wear a maid dress and serve others.
And since we had work as a waitress before, we had experienced the tiredness of it so no more waitress for us.

Job job job, money money money is all i hear from people now a days.
Study has been out of the question.
It really bothers me alot that money is always making such a big fuss for everyone.
Including me.

No money = no food & no shopping & no playing = no life & no fun = wat's the point of living?
freaking siian.
but i'm sure money is not only what makes the world go round.
i'm positive it's love. (:

In the blink of an eye, 3 major things are coming up in JULY.
1. Baby finish probation - 7 July = 10more days
2. My birthday - 7 July = 10 more days
3. Me & baby 4th month - 15July = 18 more days

Sadly, i'm only left with 200bucks.
HOW AM I GONNA CELEBRATE ALL THESE?!?!
baby's kinda bothered about this too.
See! Money fault again.
GYAAA!

Might need to lend a little from mom.
And baby said that after his probation, we go dye and cut hair tgt.
is it still possible?

Today baby wake up didn't sms me.
instead he msn me a little then disappeared.
Then i gave him a call but he seems like in a rush and so we hung up less than a min.
Bored to death at home so took a nap at 12pm to 4pm & 8pm to 11.50pm.
Didn't sleep well last night due to me leg pain.
Guess walk around too much ytd.
Slept at 4am and woke up around 6am last night.

then 11.50pm baby got call me.
But when he hear my voice like sleeping he ask me go back sleep.
I told him i'm already awake.
Then he said he's wif his fren.
So i said okay, you go do ur stuff bahhs, bye bye.
and hung up.
less than a min again i guess.
No msg the whole day as usual.
Hope he manage to sell all the tickets today.
Got no information about it although he did call me.
Oh well...

Tml's one of baby's BIG day.
Afternoon meet officer, at night go attend inhouse party at fairy point.
He said he didn't want to go but if he don't go, many of his frens won't go so he have to go.
And he say he only wants to drink.

Hope he have fun.
Justin they all going, Jeremy they all going, ZhiXiong and his frens going and not to forget his gan daddy they all also going.
Big group, he'll enjoy himself for sure. (:

Sacrificing, Giving; What is all this for? ; ღJasmine

2009-06-26T01:53:00.001+08:00

The song that i'll only sing for you;
The love song

Days spent without you;
hours and min pass by without a care in the world.
Days spent with you;
hours, mins and even every second is filled with fear;
fear of losing you.

Today woke up, go bank withdraw money.
Then go eat and bought eyeliner and concealer with mummy.
After than train down to doubby gaut to meet baby.
Then we went around trying to sell the party ticket.
After that tried our luck at clack quay.
But when ever people heard of the pricing, they chua sai and say dont wan.
Sad...

didnt get to sell anything today.
leg fucking pain & tired.
and we even walk through boat quay.
i think the clubbing girls must be thinking that i'm insane.
bring my own boyfriend to such places and let him see girls.
Bused home around 10.50pm.

Read home at 12am.

now chatting with baby.

Sorry, still no photos.
Be patients and wait for me to get a better phone alright people? (:

the differences doesn't seems different anymore; ღJasmine

2009-06-21T23:59:00.003+08:00

YTD night, baby called me.
we chat over the phone till he fell aslp.
he said he's coming to yishun around 2pm to collect ticket from his fren.
and so he could meet me for brunch too.
i was so happy and excited!

morning, woke up 2.50pm+
tot i over slept,
called him and he's still slping.
so i waited at home for his call.
4.30pm plus, he called.
but he was already in FAREAST PLAZA with Vince and Justin.
~~disappointed~~

and for the whole day he only contacted me about ticket, money, meet up time for the in house party.
~~sad~~

when he finally reaching yishun around 8pm+
he called to meet me at the MRT station.
reached and saw ZhengSong kor kor already there.
earlier than expected as we were suppose to meet at 9pm to pass the $$ for the tickets.

then baby arrived.
spot him so easily in the crowd.
Vince and Justin came too.

after all the money and ticket passing thing, we went to chong pang and had our dinner.
after that baby took bus 969 back.
so i went home.

around 2am, baby called me.
~~happy~~
he told me some kind of tai ji happened that's why he's home.
chat with him on the phone till his frens came his house and we hung up.
and now...
waiting for his phone call ever since as he said he would call back...
~~bored to death~~

sorry people.
didnt post photos as i lazy take photo as the phone camera is a bloody 2MP.
shity quality.

anyway...

if you like to drink hard liqour or beer,
infact if u love to drink hard liqour or beer.
this is the party just for you!

There'll be a party down at Fairy point bungalow on the
27th june.

BEST OF ALL, IT'S HELD NEAR A BEACH!

party includes free flow hard liqour, beer, food etc.

DRINK LIKE NO TOMORROW!!!

tickets will be selling at $45 .
party starts from 10pm to 5 am.

FREE SHUTTERBUS RIDE FROM PASIR RIS MRT FROM 9.30PM TO 12AM!!!

music will be RnB , house , trance all night long !
interested parties please contact ANDY asap as they'll only be 500 tix available.
contact ANDY @ 98579919

*now only 23 TICKETS LEFT!*

~~and i heard that 400tickects has already been sold to ALL GIRLS!~~
shhhh~~....

i'm used to it; was all i could say; ღJasmine

2009-06-20T21:20:00.005+08:00

2nd day without baby again...

when ever i wanna try to take time out for myself away from baby...
it never seems to work well for me.
i cant help but feel insecure without being by his side.

i hate my life...
T^T

there's alot of things that had been bugging me and i didnt dare to speak it out.
i guess it's time i really should pluck up the courage and speak it out.
i dont wanna suffer like this no more.

today met a pervert online.
i dont even remember adding any frens in msn since i was with baby.
and there this guy name jason who talked to me and i tot he was a fren who i have forgotten.
he suddenly wanna wedcam with me but i didnt hab one but he said it was okay.
so i accepted the video call and guess what i saw when the picture start up?...

HE SHAKING HIS FUCKING TINY BROWN COLOR LITTLE BROTHER!
-puke-
fucked up luck!

jasontanlw@hotmail.com <--LOOK OUT FOR THIS PERVERT!

without hesitation, i closed the chat window, curse and swear him and deleted and block him.
it's freaking disgusting...
lucky i haven eaten anything for the whole day.

having period cramps and its killing me...
keep on feel like puking somemore...
and...
I HAVEN EATEN ANYTHING THE WHOLE DAY!
who care???....

blahhh~!!!

shall end here.

2009-06-19T11:03:00.002+08:00

LOST
i lost the light that have been guiding me.

damn...
why is so many people asking me to study this year?
is it really for the best?
or does it only seems like the best?

i really don't know what to do anymore.
i feel i'm neither here nor there.
WTH is wrong with me now?

stuck stuck...
what should i do.
stick with me decision or go with other's decision?
i dunno anymore.

the hand which i never wanna let go of; Jasmine

2009-06-18T19:19:00.003+08:00

i edited this post as i blog in out of anger few hrs ago.
shall make it less violent.

EVERYDAY atleast 3 people will provoke me for dumb reason.
what's wrong with my life?

firstly, people who want to tag, kindly put ur name down.
from now on i won't entertain nameless people who i dont know.
i dont have time play guessing game with you all.

dont comment about my life, like i've said, it's mine!
unless, i know who r u.

secondly, i've been in bad condition with my FAMILY.
sister has been an ass, telling my mom everything that's written in my blog.
and my mom used it to say i unfair to them.
life was never fair....

shall end here.

2009-06-17T22:28:00.002+08:00

Time to do smth about my life.
Moving on, aimlessly, don't know don't care what happen in the future;
it's just plain boring and scary.
knowing doing nothing will affect my future greatly, it's scary.

so yeah, i've decided to plan out my future.

Firstly, since i'm not studying anymore...
i shall just keep it as that because i know i'm not the chiong type.
it's too late to start now for me cause i cannot handle studying stress.
i will go back CHEC next year for the 1yr course and make sure this time, i study.

And so, since i have alot of free time now...
i will look for a job.
and take up some outside lesson too.
like maybe music, language, cooking, sewing, art lesson [either one] to keep my mind working.
and of cause, use my own working money.

and from there, i can meet more frens, enlarge my circle of frens and improve my social skills for the future.

and from that, i can learn to plan my time wisely.
for working, learning, frens, family & boyfren.
this is what i call living life to the fullest.
(:

and maybe i should plan out some exercise day too.
keep a healthy life style.

Okay, let's talk about,

MONDAY; 15 JUNE 2oo9

HAPPY 3th MONTH ANNERVERSARY BABY!

Today meet baby at 2.30pm at doubby gaut.
baby was late a little.
then went to cathay, saw Russel[baby's classmate] & baby's gal de fren.
then walk around to see what to eat.
end up decided to go in a restaurant, i forgot wad name it was.
baby at beef steak as usual while i eat beef spaghetti.

after that we went to meet Marc & Rachael
and watched DRAG ME TO HELL.
it's not very scary actually.
just SUPER CHUA SAI!
after that baby brought me to the singapore flyer.
and we took a ride!
super romantic i swear.
but cause got another ang mo couple.
so spoil mood.
the night view was beautiful!

after that went to eat popeyes.
wanted to try the popcorn shrimp but sold out.
so ate the Fish burger set with an extral cole slaw.
vege~
yummy!

after that bus back to baby house there, meet Vince and Justin at the play ground.
and slack the night away.
in between, got one asshole throw smth like a water ballon down towards us.
then vince and baby angry went up and look to them.
but guess vince is just too hot headed and kick the door real hard and scolded valgure.
so we decided to leave the play ground.

TUESDAY; 16 JUNE 2oo9

morning, pei baby go school.
then from school there took bus 855 back to yishun.
ate KFC then went home.

meet baby again in CHEC at 12 plus.
saw alot of frens, missed them.
they ask me to return to school and study so actually really thought about it.
they even offer to help me with my studies if i come back.
i really appriciate it but...
i guess i cant make it this year.

after that, went to the coffee shop near by to eat.
then went off to baby house there de mac.
saw kim and another baby guy fren.
so walk around with them.
baby felt hungry so went to the coffee shop to eat.

went back to mac to meet kaiyang.
slack all the way there after that.
till 2am plus then went to nicole house and played poker all the way till 6am in the morning.

WEDNESSDAY; 17 JUNE 2oo9

morning, went to eat at the market.
then went back to baby house.
wait for him to bath and change then we went to school by bus 65.
baby fell aslp on my lap while i feel aslp on his back.
when we wake up, we're at habbour front already.
so walk opposite and took bus 65 again, went back to school and i took bus 855 home again.

got home around 10 or 11am, listen to mum nag and went to bed.
woke up at 8.43pm.
bath and been infront of the com since then.

very hungry now...

the THOUGHTS of YOU changed ME; Jasmine

2009-06-14T22:20:00.003+08:00

My days are COLORFUL;
like a RAINBOW;
because of YOU.

another 1hour and 26mins to me and baby's 3th month.
as time passes by and the time we're tgt increases,
memories accumulated and
the love we have for each other deepens more and more.
It get harder and harder to part from you everyday.
The time we spends together never seems enough for me.
I gave up my life to devote it only to you and only you; my baby.

YTD; Saturday, 13 JUNE 2oo9

meet up with baby 6plus.
watch X-man wolverine with baby and slack around.
then at night, hungry.
meet MARC at mac and went kopitiam eat XiaoWanMian.
then met up with kaiyang there too.
after that slack under baby block and met VINCE.

some more freaking suay!
suddenly got a Malay family eat DURIAN under baby block.
then baby HATE DURIAN smell.
so he tabuleitahan and rush out the block.
heng never vomit out.

so we decided to go up to baby house.
only marc came up while the other needa meet ppl and go home.

reach baby house, marc and baby keep on talking about gal.
haiis...
hear liao siian diao.
should have gone home.
oh well...

after a while, marc like sot circuit.
suddenly everything in baby room also can take and play.
after that marc left and we went down to meet Justin and another 2 more guy.
funny people i must say.
cant stop laughting the whole night till morning 6am.
hahas.

after breakfast, the others went home while i went to baby house.
baby used com awhile then feel tired.
so i pei him lie down untill he fall aslp then i set off home.

tired like one dog but could sleep.
so use com untill 11am then sleep.
woke up at 4.15pm+

MISSED CHURCH!!!
GYAAA!

baby never go church too.
so stayed home the whole day.

at night, meet mummy and bought some stuff and ate dinner.

now home and talking to my baby.

it's 12.06AM now.
wished each other happy 3th month at zun zun 12AM just now.
幸せな感じ~!

私の赤ん坊のための焼けるケーキ; Jasmine

2009-06-13T01:26:00.003+08:00

You're my miracle;
Magical Moments With You.

Friday; 12 JUNE 2oo9

Didnt had a wink at all since ytd.
tried calling baby up at 7.30AM.
but guess he's too tired...
even tio scolding when he's in his 'sleeping conscious' mood.
T^T

baby did apologies when i told him about it though.
so cute~~~

went to bath and prepare around 11am plus.
then reach baby house around 2.15pm.

finally can see baby~
so happy~~~
*doki doki*

then went to eat mac wif baby.
almost starve to death~~~
hahas.
got the last cup from the upsize.
COMPLETE THE CUP COLOR COLLECTION!!!
hahas.

after that meet kaiyang and kaiying at baby house.
slack awhile till like 6pm as baby was engross in the MR BROWN jokes.
then we bus down to EHUB and watch Pelham123.
in my point of view, usually it wouldn't be the type of show i would wanna watch.
but in a cinema, the atmosphere is different.
when everyone is watching, it makes you wanna watch.
so it's kinda okay to me.

after that, bus back to tamp and took bus 969 home.
it's always so hard to part with baby.
T^T

now using com and chatting to baby over the phone. <3

LOVE is magic; Jasmine

2009-06-12T06:13:00.005+08:00

Forward;
One step, Two step, Three step.
i'm getting closer!

It's 6 in the morning and i must admit...
i'm in quite a good mood since last night.

i figure out that i just thinks too much.
but that doesn't mean the fault is all mine to bare.

i suddenly had this feeling something's aren't right, like baby's hiding something from me.
i asked him and he seems like he's pretty busy, in a hurry that kind and told me he'll call me later.
when he called, he sounds kinda depress.
and he told me his reason.
baby world like slowly suddenly all messed up.
i cant be a nucient when baby's facing the big wave in life.
i have to be there for him.

so yeah, not gonna stay depress any longer.
i just gotta be more zhi dong[auto].
NO MORE ALL TALK NO ACTION.
instead of sitting at home complaining, i should just change it myself!
MANUALLY! (:

later i'm gonna go fetch baby from school.
he's ending school 11.30am
i'm not gonna let it be the 5th day without baby!

GYAAA!
i forgot to bank in my check too.
gonna ask mummy to bank in for me.
and staying home kinda help me save money.
though its killing me but...
it's good to save money!

i'm still so in love with Japanese culture.
the food, the hotspring, the yukata & kimono, the language even the FOOD!!!
the best is that the current, fashion, make up and technology there is so damn nice!
soba, nabeimoni, sashimi, cawamushi~~~
*sparkle sparkle effect*
*drooling~~~*

excuse me while i enjoy myself in dreamland for a while.
-BRB-

I HAVEN FOUND ANY JOB YET!!!
LELONG LELONG!
DESPRESTLY SEEKING A JOB HERE!!! [WIF BABY]
LING LING LING! [ring bell like selling icecream]

私およびあなたがあった時; Jasmine

2009-06-11T18:30:00.005+08:00

SPEECHLESS;
no point, no words, no nothing.

~~4th~~ day without my baby...
the feeling: STRENGTH-LESS

Dont let excuses stop you, if it do, then it doesnt matter much to you at all in the first place.

Don't let excuses stop you; a quote from the church.
no use saying it...
no use understanding it...
when no actions are taken.

saying it is so easy that anyone could say it.
when no one takes actions.
all talk no action...
easier said than done.

tired...

baby busy with school and fren.
i can get use to him not by my side de.
like i've been repeating, i cannot always rely on him.
he got his own life, own frens.
i cannot always stick to him.
i'm okay de.
just gotta enlarge my circle of frens once again.

i'll be okay as long as i believe i'm okay. (:

so, SMILE JASMINE! (:

smile smile smile, i can get through this; Jasmine

2009-06-11T05:39:00.003+08:00

i have to hold the smile on;
even if the sky falls.

3th day without my baby.
the feeling: tired...

morning, wake up, used com all the way.
feel like smth had changed all of a sudden.
like i suddenly lost smth.
i dunno, just like a diamon which drop into the middle of the ocean and sank all the way down; missing forever.
but who know, maybe someday it may found again.
some how, in some way, some time in the future.

decided to stay home pei mummy today.

used the com the whole day, took nap then use com again.
like super NO LIFE....
what to do, blame myself lor.
my fault for not planning my life properly lurhhs.

haiis, life is a pain in the butt!

miss my baby, but like i've said in my previous post.
i cannot always rely on him...

gotta get used to it; Jasmine

2009-06-09T20:21:00.003+08:00

Even when the sky falls,
i know i can keep that smile on; till the last second.

2 day without baby.
the feeling: empty.

not like i didnt hab this feeling before.
well, should get used to it.
i cannot always rely on my baby and stick to him either anyway.
he got his own life and own fren too.
as for me...
my frens...
the computer! =="

miss my sec school group.
XIAOWEN! WEETENG! ANDY LUM! PATRICK STARFISH!

some PAST YEARS PHOTOS with those people that i named above.

anyway, noticed tt i did post a post few days ago that i got a feeling something bad is gonna happen a few weeks or months later...
when i said bad,
it can mean a changes,
a challenge,
a shocking news
or a big wave coming my way.

how right could that prediction be?

It's just a matter of time; Jasmine

2009-06-08T00:58:00.006+08:00

Friday; 5June2oo9

As some people can see from my tag, me and my baby had some misunderstanding.
but everything is alright now.
sorry baby, didnt state properly when i tag.

Today went to look for baby after his work.
wanted to surprise him, didnt tell him i would go down.
hope it did. (:

kinda forgot about the pay.
baby reminded me when he saw me.
hahas.
so took my pay.
did have 31 bucks went to CPF.
after CPF deduction: $534.39
YATA!!!

After that, went off to cine to watch movie with Jeremy, XiaoPang, AhBoon&hisGF, keen, cheiw xiong, nicki.
keen & nicki is KIMGARY supervisor&manager sia.
hahas.

bought tickets; baby paid for me again...
ありがとう! 愛しなさい!
went to the foodcourt or some sort at the opposite and eat.
eat the malay fried rice and ALMOST DIE!
damn hot, got CHILLI!!
RAWR!!!
didnt know that...

~~2am~~; went to watch movie.
Me and my dearest watch Night at the museum 2,
while the others watch Terminator Slavation.
becoz we watch terminator before le.
And i swear, both are super nice show!!!

Meet up back tgt after the movie.
waiting for cab and cab back to baby house.
felt like vomiting all the way.
then went to mac and ate something.
think cause the whole day never eat then suddenly eat chilli stuff so like tt.
baby bought the hot cake like burger gib me.
赤ん坊再度ありがとう! 私は愛する!

after that, went to baby house.
i used computer till baby fall aslp then i went to slp.
cover blanket properly for baby then pulled out the mattress and slept.

Saturday; 6June2oo9

when i woke up, aunty was talking to baby and he's already awake and sneezing like hell.
opps, did i pass him my flu?

aunty cooked bee hoon for us and i ate it.
DAMN YUMMY!!!

after that went to bath and all and went down to Tamp1 wif baby.
meet up with christ kor while baby went to tell don he's not working today coz his nose just became water tap.
then meet up with CJ and had dinner at century square tgt.
didnt eat as i was still full of this afternoon bee hoon.
after that we went to the open air place and slack slack abit.
Christ and CJ seems to click quite well.

after that took 969 and bused home with kor.
reached home, msg baby and used com all the way.
when baby reached home after supper, he called me and we chat till he's tired
and i went off to bed.

read some of the old msn conversation history of me and my last time frens.
kinda miss those time.
but i think i'm still as carefree as always.
and it's a bad thing~~~
when will i start to get serious and work on my future!!!
i better hope i'll wake up soon, i have to!

Sunday; 7June2oo9

Woke up and prepared to meet baby for church today.
met him at cityhall and we walk to NewCreation tgt.
hee~ no need sit in the overflow room today.

after church, we went to eat at marinabay the food court.
there was cheese bakE rice too!
and i SWAER, over my dead body that the cheese bake rice here is WAY MUCH MORE TASTIER than the ones in KIMGARY.
and not to mention, cheaper too!
only $5.80!!!
baby ate beef steak again; as usual~ [x

after that, walk down to bugis and meet up with CJ, nehemia&hisGF, huiying.
walked to hajilane and SHEESHA.
today's flavour was grape and strawberry.
[dont scold me~ ]

but most of the time we were playing with video instead of sheesha.
hahas.

left at around say... 10.30pm?
walk back to bugis street and saw Daryl with his frens.
after that baby and CJ wanted to drink so we walk abit to dunno where and while they drink, we had a 'LAME JOKE' session tgt.
left around 11.20pm and train home.

now i'm home and missing my baby~

baby starting school tml le....
SAD...
i'm so gonne be dead bored now...

i wanna buy assesment!!
and maybe go back to school with baby.
while he got class, i do my assesment at a peaceful and quiet place like; CHEC!!!
xD

and maybe can ask some of the teachers for help too.
may god bless me.

i have so much to buy!!!
534.39 bucks is enough for me to buy, not enough for me to EAT!
wtf!
@ not enough for me to save for next month CHALET!!!
die die die die die.
how sia...

ANY JOB LORBANG WHICH PAY IS MORE THAN 5BUCKS PERDAY?!?!?!
URGENTLY WANTING A JOB BY THIS WEEK!

2009-06-05T04:41:00.004+08:00

The sparkle; The stars; The memories

The you, The me; then.

Past photos, when i'm still in sec3. xD

i'm tired...
alot things going through my mind...
i'm kinda worry about the future....
got a feeling something bad is gonna happen a few weeks or months later...

shall not think so much...

i should go sleep right now.

tml is pay day...
i should be happy about it.

xoxo, Jasmine was here.

2009-06-04T05:24:00.003+08:00

Having you beside me;
i feel that i can get through anything.

Today woke up around 3plus..
rot at home till 6plus and went to bath.
meet baby, kaiyang, kaiying, nehemiah, huiying & CJ at EHUB.
watched Terminator tgt.
baby paid for my ticket; THANKS BABY!

the show abit jing zhang one lor.
make my heart pump so fast.
scared sia.

after the movie.
we took bus 21 while nehemiah&huiying walk off to dunno where.
CJ left at tamp while the rest & me went to bedok.
had my first meal of the day near baby house de kopitiam.
i ate fishball tung hoon again.
hahas.
didnt have much appetite this few days...
T^T

after that cab back home.
cab fare $22.50
dad paid for my cab fare.

reach home played all zynga games in facebook.

Today abit in the thinking mood.
alot funny things go through my mind.
about the past, the present, and the future.
what i have done, what i have regretted.
what i am in now..
and how am i gonna face the future...
actually kinda moody...

and had flu almost the whole day.
but ate medi le, so no longer sneezing le.
*happy happy*

yay, tml getting my pay liao.
cant wait.
but i wanna try to save as much as i can too.
planning something big in july.
>.<"
stress about money...

wanna book a chalet for my birthday...
2day 1 night is enough i guess...
anyone can give me information about chalet?
i never plan any chalet before so i super 'gong' about this thing...

i wanna get a new haircut and new clothes in early july too.
let say it as a birthday present to myself.
xD

okay, i guess i'll end here for today.

Good night people!
sweet dreams!

Thinking of you; Jasmine

2009-06-02T22:44:00.011+08:00

Your presence;

so smoothing, so clam.
That's all i need; you, my baby.

it's been a long time since i can blog with photos.
now using my sister old phone.
Sonny ericsson S500i.
atleast there's a 2maga pixie and a MP3...

and i have my old memory card so got some old photos back. (:

let's talk about 30 may.
didnt sleep that night before...
waited for my ErJie to buy supper home for me.
but she didnt reach home till like, 7am?
damn FUCK UP.
quarreled and wake the whole family up.
baby waited for me the whole night as i told him i will take first bus to his house.
but since me sister would be late so i asked him to slp first.
he tell me okay but guess he's really worried that when i come in the morning 7plus am, he couldnt wake up to open the door and i would be alone so end up didnt slp.
my silly baby~
but i end up chasing him to sleep again.

went to baby house at 9plus am?
spam baby's HP but guess he's aslp...
waited outside his house till 10.49am then called his house.
his mother answered the phone so i ask if she could open the door for me.
heng she had already woke up, not i woke her up de though. [x
kept Randy[andy's little brother] entertained.
after that felt tired so went to sleep on the mattress beside baby's bed.
baby was aslp since i reach his house.

when i woke up, baby is sleeping at the edge of his bed facing me and sharing his blanket with me~
felt so happy and blessed! ❤

after that, woke up around 12.30pm.
he went to bath and all and we left tgt to go to TPY to meet his officer.
spent some simple yet precious time tgt on the way there.
after that waited for like 30 to 40min for him to come out with his parents.
then we set off to FarEast and ate mogu mogu.
we ate beef bowl.
i ate the beef bowl set which comes with the soup and the cawamushi[steam egg].
and one additional coke.
while baby ate only the beef bowl with a coke.

my food

one of the dish there.
forgot the name.
photo Credits goes to my 2nd sister.

and there was this group of girls sitting one table away infront of us.
we sat in the middle facing the door there.
so the girls were directly under the window.
they were like playing and laughting and suddenly,
there this one of the girls, lied down on the chair.
WORST OF ALL, SHE'S WEARING A SKIRT!
and it's like QI TAO UPSKIRT!
FUCK, baby saw and turned away.
i tot wad happen and looked.
then WA LAO EH!
she's wearing black undies and she seems like she's wearing PAD!!!

CAN'T SHE FUCKING BEHAVE HERSELF, SHE'S IN PUBLIC!
AND MY BABY IS FREAKING FACING THEIR TABLE!
AND HE'S A GUY!
FUCK, buay pai seh one sia tt girl.

as i was saying, i pointed out to her frens she cao geng.
then her frens laught at her and tell her then she still dont wan sit up.
FUCK UP KNOW!

after that they left and we happen to finished our food too so we left behind them.
then that girl like just realise how paiseh it was and kinda walk away damn fast blocking her face.
it's not like we never see her face like that before...
before the upskirt incident she like keep on looking towards our direction dunno looking at wad.
we already noticed her buang-ness liao.

forget about it, let's carry on.
after that we went to walk around the fareast plaza.
trying to look for chio bu.
but like cant see any at all...
siian.

after that around 5.30 we walk to orchard MRT station.
baby left for work while i float around fareast waiting for my mother.
then 7plus float around orchard looking for my mother.
then we went down to tampines.
went to M1 shop and mummy bought a new touch screen phone.

after that meet daddy outside KIMGARY and went in KIMGARY to eat.
SAW BABY~!!!
慈しみ~~~! ❤

baby took our order for us.
he seems kinda nervous.
hahas, so cute.

ate cheese bake rice.
FUCK, it's not that good with white corn sauce.
then the assorted mushroom also damn digusting!
think maybe cause also with corn sauce.

but love the red pepper fries and the egg wrap fish mushroom rice!
IT'S THE BEST!
the borsh soup also nice.

then baby keep making funny face to me then i giggle abit and all.
LOVE BABY LOTS LOTS!
then when me and my parents have to go.
i kinda stay back a while to talk to the others.
then it's closing le ma, so baby asked me to bend down at the counter.
at first i tot wad.
then he suddenly bend down and kissed me!
so happy! ❤
hahas...
then reluctenly went off home.

Day before yester; 31MAY

Today i meet up with baby around 5plus.
had our time tgt till 1plus?
dad came to fetch me to the air port.
mummy, er jie and erjie BF going Tokoy - narita and having their 5am flight.
went to air port and took some photos tgt and drink hot chocolate and went off.
then daddy drive me to nehemiah house to get my make up pouch back.
YAY!

after that went home and sleep.
it suddenly feel so scary to sleep in a room alone.
siian....

Yesterday; 1June

rot at home.
almost died.
X_x

Today; 2June

meet baby for breakfast in the morning.
left house around 5.50am
took first bus to baby house.
ate fishball tung hoon.
quite nice sia.
not too saltish and all.

after that went to baby house, watch The tale of despereux.
tired watching X-Men but...
baby downloaded the wrong one.
he downloaded the WORK PRINT.
and i swear it is DAMN funny.
all the incomplete thing...
go download and watch and u will know how fucked up funny it is.

okay, after that i fell aslp when we watch The Hulk.
when i woke up, baby was sleeping too.
at first the blanket was with me.
then the second time i woke up, the blanket with with baby.
i was freaking cold but i lazy to take the blanket from baby so i just leave it as that.
woke up sneezing like a dog.

went down to mac to meet baby's fren.
saw my junior. [hor hor, she paikia sia. =X ]
talk to her abit and went off to meet kim.
it's her birthday YTD.
i haven wish her a happy birthday...
that's not very frenly of me.
sorry, i'm just not the kind that take initiative...
anyway, i'll wish her a happy birthday here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 16th KIM! ((:

6pm, went to kim gary and ate egg wrap fish mushroom rice.
baby ate the nu mo wang hot plate set meal.
he said it tasted yucky.
so i tried it and it sure tasted kinda weird.
he force it down anyway as he as hungry.
baby paid for me.
THANKS BABY! ❤

after that i reluctanly went off while baby went to work.

reach home and found a new lock at my door.
dad put it up as he was angry that i went out so early this morning i guess.

OYASUMINASAI!!!

Some past photos...

rainbows

sleep like a human sia!
愛くるしい!!!

2009-05-29T02:11:00.002+08:00

The best thing that had happen to me is; YOU.
Rain always comes,
but my sunshine never fails to brighten up the day.

For many reader's information .
My baby and i had some problems few days ago .

Everything is resolved now.

The days without my baby...
i feel so lost and confused.
i almost wanted to gave up last night.
cry like a dog over the phone while talking to nehemiah.

Today woke up, msg baby.
Then after that went out to meet baby at tamp.
while looking for a seat in the food court, saw dexter.
as usual, ate xiao wan mian.

after that went to return the clothes to kim gary.
gotta look for a new job now...
ANY RECOMMENDATION???
6.15pm, baby went to work so i went back home alone.

i wanna get a new haircut soon~~~
T^T cant really stand this hair now.
but at the same time, i kinda like it.
becoz i have to pin it up so it'll look better so no fringe to distrub my face!!!

and how i wish i can change a new Hp.
it's getting on my nerve...
no camera, no music...
life feels even more plain now.
T^T

sorry people, then again...
STILL NO PICTURES...
it's freaking irratating...
sobs....

came home, use com all the way, watch show, listen music...
untill baby end work then he called me.
chat over the phone up untill now.
i'm going back to chatting with my dearest baby, bye~

what makes my life wonderful; it's you.
JAsMiNe <3

2009-05-28T02:06:00.006+08:00

My second day without my baby.

My love for you, will never fade....

woke up around 1pm.
meet up with christ kor and joel di under my blk around 3pm .
ate subway[FOR THE FIRST TIME].
then bus to joe house to take kor's key as he left it there.
then went back to northpoint, wait for bus wif kor and bus 1stop home just to kill time.
reach home around 6.30pm.
stayed home ever since.

btw, i've changed phone number already.
i've change back to my singtel line that number.
if u remember it...
then good for u...
if not people who dont remember...
good bye...
cause my mum is using my M1 sim card now.

and i'll be stoping work soon.
maybe, tml...
i'll tell don.
i've made up my mind.

after nehemiah call me back after so many miss call from me.
he asked about me and my baby.
i almost broke down.
i couldnt manage to even breath nor talk properly...
if not i might just cry out.
so i could only force out the word alone and lonely.
after he hung up, i manage to control the tears.
but dunno why, after reading baby's blog.
my tears couldnt stop flowing.
it wouldnt stop...
so i ran into the room and try to force it to stop.
and finally, it stoped.
so i came out to blog.

i'm running away.
i dunno why, but my heart just cant help it anymore.
i can only run away.

it's okay, even without me, he's fine.
he'll be fine.
he have so manay friends to be there for him.
he'll be alright even without me.
it wouldnt make a different without me.
because...
i cant make him happy, all i have done is made him sad and angry.
i can never heal it any more.
i dont have confident anymore.
i dont have the power to do so anymore.
i dont know how anymore.
i give up...
i gave up...

please be happy, i know you can...

it's okay, i'll be fine...
i just...
gotta get use to it...
use to not seeing ur smile,
not being able to embracing your warmth,
not being able to tickle you,
not being able to hold on to you everywhere i go,
not being able to see you 'sa jiao',
not being able to tie ur hair for you,
not being able to hug you to sleep,
not being able to see ur bird face,
not being able to 'dou zui' with you,
not being able to bully you,
not being able to sayang you,
not being able to see you get so happy just becoz of some little thing,
not being able to look into ur eyes and tell each other iloveyou,
not being able to be there for u, going through those difficult situaction,
not being able to help you do anything anymore....

there's just so many things i gotta get use to...
what am i gonna do without you...
my life...
i dont wanna live my life without you...
what should i do, what should i do?...

though you always said that u're mature enough to think and all.
but...
i always see you as my baby, a child.
someone i wanna love and protect.
just by doing some little stuff can make u so happy.
i'm really gald to have found you.
looking at u smile so sillily just like a kid, makes me feels so bless.
just cant stop falling in love with you everyday.
magically, every little things you do for me, can make me so happy too!

what am i talking about...
and i was saying i was gonna give up...
how am i suppose to give up like that...

i sound pitifull.
as if i'm very ke lian...
oh well!
i'm okay~........

hummm...
i wanna go look for another job.
i remember my sister tell me there's one restaurant that needs to wear kimono and serve people.
how cool is that~~~
KIMONO NEHHS!!!
kawaii~~~ xD

i'll end here for today...

Me & Joel di

Baby, baby, baby; it's all ecoing inside my head; Jasmine

2009-05-27T05:03:00.001+08:00

Insomnia
laying on my bed;
only you are in my head

like being hit by a bullet.
everything is chaotic.
through the hole in my heart,
all our memories are flowing out.
even if i try to hold on to them,
even if i try to block my heart,
they slip through my fingers.
even if my heart stops,
i dont think it'll hurt like this.
please do something, cure me.
at this rate, my heart will all be broken.
all of a sudden,
the tears flow without me knowing.
i really dont want to be like this...
really dont want to...
really...

no words can describe how much i'm missing you now baby.

i know i'm making it sound all so pitifull.
but i really miss you badly.

it's 5 in the morning and i still cant sleep.
why am i suffering from insomnia again?
the second time in my entire life...

please, save me or kill me.
make it fast, i dont wanna suffer like this anymore.

couldnt sleep so search for songs online to listen...

Ride For You - Danity Kane

[Verse 1: Aundrea]
Lately, I've been tryna fight whatever's pulling us under
it's got a hold and really making me wonder
what it takes to get through
I gotta stick with you, my baby
Baby tell me?
Maybe I'm foolishly overreacting
But being without you I can't imagine
It's just to close to the heart and
And I won't stand it if were broken apart

[Chorus: group]
Do you hear me?
Baby ya gotta believe in the things that make you & me win together
Don't you throw in the towel
I'm keeping my promise to you I got ya back now
When the chips are down
It seems like it's so hard for you to move ahead
Just know that I am by your side
There aint no ifs, buts, or maybes,
I'm gonna stay down and ride for you baby

[Verse 2: Dawn]
We've been cutting it close with the backwards & forwards
It's rocking the boat; we gotta get control of this
Let's take it back to three years ago
When you said that we could make it through whatever, ever
And to me it sounded like you meant forever, ever
Leaving was not an option, baby, never, never
Now don't you believe in a love that's worth a fight
In you is everything that I'm missing
So give us a chance

[Chorus]

[Verse 3: D. Woods]
Don't you dare tell me we gotta let it go?
We been on top for too long just to let it go under
I don't wanna hear that
I just can't hear that
and know
Wherever you wanna take me
I'll go
I been with you for too long to start over with another
I know that you hear me
Just tell me you hear me

Kara - Honey

READ THE TRANSLATION.
love this Korean song.

Dont sent me to hell yet; Jasmine

2009-05-27T00:26:00.003+08:00

Lost in words, lost in thoughts, lost in memories

Woke up msg baby.
Wonder how is he now...
what he have been doing...
is he thinking of me like how i'm thinking of him?
feel so lonely.
i'm alone, i have no one.
i'm glad baby has so many friends..

Stayed home and read manga and listen to song the whole of today.
Home alone...
waiting...
and waiting...

What should i do now?
baby's still angry with me.
it's all my fault for being too friendly.
and always trying to find excuses.
i dunno what to do anymore...
i feel like just running away, like how i always do.
every time something goes wrong, i gives up.
that's why i never succeed in anything before.

when i got together with baby...
i told myself, i wanna be the one that baby feel the happiest with.
i wanna be able to give all my love to baby.
i wanna make baby happy...
but...
am i doing it now?..

will we ever be the same again?...

i guess, i'm just being selfish...

i'll leave the decision to baby...

Messed up; Jasmine.

2009-05-23T21:30:00.004+08:00

Memories
if only there is a replay button;
i would wanna replay all the happy moments all over again.

Feel like changing job...
it's tiring being a waitress...
T^T

currently bored at home.
miss work again.
2nd day of missing work.
feel like just quitting...
of well...

gotta wake up tml and GAMBATTE!!!
FOR MONEY!
xD

i got lots of things i wanna buy.
example: make ups like; eyeliner, mascara, concealer [IT'S ALL FINISHING!!!]
and my 2nd shoe bought within this two month...
is opening mouth again!!!
need new shoes.
and i wanna buy assessments book.
and i'm saving money to get a new hair cut on july and opening a chatlet on my bithday.
i wanna change a new HP too!!!
i wanna get a new set of clothes

talk about make ups...
my make up pouch is still wif NEHEMIAH!!!
ytd went to east coast and met Francis.
and met a fat gal who proclaim that she...
nvm about that...
'celebrated birthday and all...'

today whole day at home..
better sleep before 3am...
if not i'll miss work again.
but waking up early for work sure feels kinda good.
feel fresh and awake [i hope].

that's all for today...

Jasmine; i'm losing it...

2009-05-19T02:04:00.005+08:00

It doesnt matter.
When the time comes,
we all know tt we just gotta accept it.

i hope baby dont read this...

i feel broken...
after hearing how much leah has once meant to him...
i feel sad...
i feel that i'm still far from the place where leah has once held in baby's heart.
how much more should i work hard?...
what else can i do?

people once said i wasnt understanding enough; i've change.
people said i get jealous too easily; i've change.
people said i wasnt sensitive enough; i've change.
people said i wasnt fun enough to be around with; i've change.
people said i was too quiet; i've change.
what else can i do?....

couldn't stop thinking about it ever since he told be about it.
and look like i'm quite good at hiding my feelings after all.
he doesnt seems to noticed how troubled i am...
and i started to think...
maybe i wasnt the one for him after all...
maybe its just fate pulling us tgt.
when the fate is over, we'll end up like nth.

Cancerian; sure is an emotional one... (:

heartach...

let's not talk about sad stuff anymore!

Later i'm working full time morning shift.
i know i know, u problably think i wouldnt be able to wake up ryt?...
well...
i'll try my best... infact, i HAVE TO!
like wad my supervisor said: "for andy's sake"
coz only when i work morning, i can have a long break in the middle.
so that i can have time for baby...
been hesitating about whether to change to full time to earn more money for 3weeks already.
as i fear the lesser sleep and time i have will reflect badly on my relationship.
but now, finally, my answer is yes.

whatever happens after that...
i guess...
it doesnt matter much...
i'm used to pain anyway...
used to heartach and all.
i learn to accept my suay-ness
so i've learn to accept whatever that happened.
it's okay, whatever not meant to be will never be...
so yeah, i've numb the pain abit.

This two week, i will have different off day as baby...
today baby's not working.
tml, i off baby's working.
what am i gonna do tml without baby?...
my life ended up being only about andy...
what should i do tml?...

my life...
it sucks.
never once i tot my life was wonderful...
oh well...
only for a moment once in a blue moon.
dont u think the same too?
being alive is boring.
everyone should die soon and die young!
so we wouldnt have to suffer more.

since sec1 when i started to use MSN alot, i will always write " i rather i had never exist before"
and that thought has never changed before.
i guess alot of u out there might think the same too isnt it.
well, life's like tt...
how long more do i have to suffer sia?
i wanna die in my sleep!!!
lols.
or just put me in a coma forever is good enough. (:

GAAAA!

i know i know, i'm not talking human...
i shall go sleep soon.
good night.
bye bye.

Reply of taggies:

To XiaoWen - I OPEN CHALET SURE INVITE YOU! MUST COME HOR!
cant manage to eat good food this month sia, fuck! oh well...
Hummm... i drop out from CHEC le; the private O school. but i've paid the O level fee le so i can still study on my own and go back and take O levels though. (:

To HaoKor - huh? airport got sell wad thing sia?...
i only went there twice. once last year, once this year.
all i saw was FOOD!!! xD

P.S: sorry, i still haven change any better HP with good photo quality.
so... no photos yet! (:

2009-04-26T05:23:00.004+08:00

Misleading myself; Releading myself.

Been making quite a number of wrong decision for the past few weeks.
making family worried sick about me.
but it's okay now, i'm trying to improve myself already.
ofcoz with the help of my baby.
he's been pushing me to study and go home.
if not i might hab made the wrong decision from that moment of temptation.

HAPPY 1MONTH AND 11DAY TO ME AND MY BABY!

it's been an awesome 1month spent with baby.
it feels as if we've been together for so long, but it's only 1month.
Because every min i am out of my house, i'll never be spotted without my baby.
accept during classes or going toilet lahhs.
love my baby the most.♥

been working at KimGary Restaurant for 2weeks now.
it's super tiring and after closing, it usually end around 11.30pm
my last bus is 11.45pm and by the time i reach home, it'll be around 12.15am.
after bath and all that, i'll be sleeping around 2am.
then the next day i have to wake up at 7am for my school.
which i did not make it for the pass two weeks.
been missing my morning lesson for 2weeks now.
and yeah, working is affecting my studies now.
but i'm still struggling to improve it.
even if i'm dead tired, i'm gonna pull myself out of bed.

had off ytd.
after school, bus down to baby house with nehemiah
was'nt in a good condition with baby recently.
think the work is affect our relationship a little too.
ytd he keep on like forgetting about me and getting angry and stuff.
almost couldnt take it.
but talk it over the phone last night.
and today, i spent alot of time with baby.

morning work up, used com till around 2pm and went to prepare.
accompany mummy to buy orange and went off to meet baby at Toa Payoh.
then we bus down to tampinese.
on the way there, chat with baby about us.
reach tamp, change clothes and started work.

christ kor called me but hung up when i answered.
dunno why.
forgot to return a call after work.
nehemiah called during closing time.
i almost lost the over for the salt and pepper too!
and not to forget i got cut by paper during work.
OUCH!

after work, bus to baby's place and accompany him go buy food and went to his house to eat.
we talk about the working place's space and think it's not set in a good way.
alot of customer has been complaining that the table is too small,
the food and drinks come too slow and all.
some even ask me why the waiter and waitress all look so gloomy, never smile at all.
but actually, it's kinda tiring to keep smiling.
the first few days of work, i did smile alot.
but i kinda lost the energy to smile so much after that.
i have to rush so many things and keep myself alert of what i'm doing, make sure i dont forget the customer's request, keep a look out at empty bowls and plates so i can clear it when they finish eating, look out for customer who are waving for a service, make sure i dont kick any chair's leg by accident, make sure i dont drop any plates or bowls, make sure i dont take the wrong order, make sure i dont spill the drink even alittle and make sure i'm not standing around doing nothing!
this-is-TIRING.
but still, it's fun and good in away.
atleast i'm not out doing nth and playing.
atleast i spent my time working than spending my time outside and spending money.
i'm EARNING money now.
though it's not much but...
if i study better and get better cert, my pay will upgarde upgrade and more UPGRADE! [x

after baby finish eating, we talk about us again.
baby today keep on pull long face.
coz he very scared we cannot get though it tgt.
though i keep assuring him that we will but i sounds too uncertain.
but well, i'm pretty sure we'll get through ups and down of life and relationship tgt de.
we can de.
cause...
ILOVE BABY & BABYLOVES ME!!! ♥

Okay, tml going to meet baby for church.
and i'm still not asleep yet!!!
OMG!
baby's gonna kill me and i'll be dead tiring tml.
GAAA!

Alright, here's the photos i promised.
and i hope there'll be more to come. [=

The different between act cute and super act cute.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.

Act cute

and SUPER act cute. xD
WTH?!?!

baby bought this for me on our 1st month.
i dont see the point of buying this but,
i'm really glad baby wanted to buy something to
make our first month special and to see the smile on my face.
BABY, ILOVEYOU!

baby hiding behind. [x

on a raining day,
baby feel down the stairs and got a big cut on his hand.
PAIN PAIN~~~ >.<

Jasmine; Andy's PROPERTY!

2009-04-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

Thursday was baby's birthday.
GAAA~~!!!
i always forgot to take alot alot pictures.
but actually, also becoz i simply HAVE NO CAMERA!!!
i dont wan keep using baby's HP coz it's his HP not mine then abit weird.
kuku.
i wanna keep a whole album of photos!!!
hope i can buy myself a HP soon...

sorry baby...
didnt msg u at 12midnight when ur birthday came.
u were waiting till 1.43am like tt then call me & ask about it.
sorry~
didnt send any birthday wishes in friendster nor facebook either.
feel bad about it...
didnt give u much for ur birthday.
i only made a tiny pouch...
feel that that wasnt enough as a birthday present.
i'm thinking of giving u another set of present on the chalet day.
wonder if i can get any money not.

been in a bad state with my family lately.
it sux to not have enough freedom...
on baby's birthday, i stayed over at his house along with other frens.
drank a little and gamble a little...
5am plus then sleep.
mummy wants me to get home and i refused.

Friday night, got home.
got scolded.
i could only kept quiet and get slap on the shoulder twice.
it wasnt that painful though.

Sat, meet baby at northpoint at 2pm.
we happened to wear our only checkered shirt tgt.
but its in different color though.
thinking of buying some couple clothes tgt.

went to eat BK at GV.
baby paid for me.
T^T sorry baby
then meet Joel and took my memory card back.
saw edbert too.
then they went off.
after that, went to Meet nehemiah[chinese] at bus inter

walk pass some shop at the bus interchange.
saw a dress that looks super cute.
OMG!
but sadly, due to the conflict last night.
mom decided to stop giving me money and maybe even seriously, stop schooling.
GAA~!!!

WHAT? can't i have fun on special days?
i love to have my freedom!!!
cant help it, tml better go find somemore jobs.
i wanna find job by this month.
i dont like my mom keep treatening me.
sometimes, the more u try to grab hold of the sand, the more it slip away from ur hand.
so why not just let it go smoothly, atleast you dont lost all of it.
the more u try to stop my freedom, the more i wan to be free, the more i rebel.
freaking hell, sometime i dont get myself either.
=.="

we visited mini toons.
baby keep saying he wan buy smth so i let him be.
but end up, he bought a panda HP toy for me and a monkey one for himself.
silly baby.
he remembers i told him before i wanted to buy that.
can't stop loving you more and more each day.

(>=<) AISHITERU! ❤

after that went to time zone and play.
Christ kor happens to be at timezone too
he called my HP.
baby wanted to see him so i ask him to come meet me outside time zone.
after that saw Hx so told baby that's my ex.
baby like suddenly gone nuts then we like abit bit quarrel like that.
scary~ T^T

after that found that where ever i go, i saw Hx and ZhangYuan around.
i'm really happy to see all my old frens who we used to go through so many thick and thin tgt.
but...
they're guys after all.
i have my baby with me so...
i dont wanna do anything that'll make my baby unhappy.

after that went to nehemiah house and slack.
played the photo hunt game with baby using his laptop.
9.30 left for dinner.
11plus reach home.

baby and nehemiah went to nicole house to gamble untill 4plus then they went back to baby's home.
tml's going church.
wonder we'll be able to wake up not.

oh oh oh~!!!
i've decided to keep my hair growing till maybe somewhere at the ending of JUNE then go cut.
i've been searching the net for nice nice hair le.
saw alot of chio bu pic online.
envy sia.
=X

and...
BABY~
IF U'RE READING THIS, PLEASE UPLOAD OUR PHOTOS SOON.
if not my blog very empty. T^T

anyway, itrustyou baby, dont break my heart.
iloveyou lots lots!!! <3

Jasmine is trying real hard.

2009-03-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

To blog or not to blog, that's a question...
so end up, i decided to blog.

pretty boring day; could not be with baby today.
stayed home and watch over the house because a part time maid came.
almost died of boredom and from missing baby.

maid finally left at 6.30pm.
paid her 45 bucks.
noticed christ kor online so decided to ask him out for dinner.
been months since i last went out with him and the others[ect. joe&j2]

ate chicken katsu bowl and drank rai-bi-na.
after that slack below a block near my house and chat about how have we been.
finally left for home at 9.47pm.

jay's song...
his songs just simply reminds me of the times where chocolate and marshmallow exist.
random. xD
his songs is just simply nice.
sadly, lost my phone and so, lost his songs tgt with my phone.
damn it!

JOEL!, I WAN MY 2G MEMORY CARD BACK!
been hard to contact each other due to busy life + lost of HP.
T^T

not planning to update any photos yet as there's some that are in my fren's camera.
after i get it, i'm gonna expose it all to you! [whoever's reading this piece of shit]
hahas.

sorry for the plain boring blog, bare with me a little okay people? (:

baby's out toning tonight.
siian...
haiis...
so now it's just me and my plain stupid thoughts of a super fuck up brain.
being in and out of love really does creates a little too much side effects for one self.

sorry to the ones i hurt before.
but never douth the one you love, no matter how much pain u got from the previous one before.
becoz, they're two different ppl.
believe in you can someday find the one that would love, treasure and accept you as who you are.
NEVER present urself with a mask on, or you'll never find that someone in life.
and never get into a relationship too fast...
coz it'll never last long, unless miracles happens.
but i swear, the road will be pretty shaky though.

and never go back to the one who gave u up.
because...
IT'S JUST PLAIN STUPID.
you don't need that person to find happiness.
you can find happiness even without that person.
why waste time and effort on that person when there's still many fishes in the sea and many tress in the forest?
you can find happiness, you can you can!
she is not ur everything, just part of it, maybe she doesn't even fit to be in ur life.
just becoz, she doesn't treasure u, that's why she don't fit.
no matter how much she can be forgiven, its no use.
she can hurt u once, she can hurt u twice and again and again.
gou gai bu liao chi shi [dog can never change its habbit of eating shit]
got hear before?
put more price on urself, she dont wan you, there's still many more pretty gals who like you and can give u more love than she can.
just take her as a BRAINLESS BITCH who dunno how to treasure such a nice person like you can le.
u're more worthy to be love by someone better.
SAME GOES FOR GALS.

WAH SIIAN!!!
it's 2am already...
and i'm super tired.
but why aren't i asleep yet?.
that's because i'm worrying about someone.
stupid horoscope, why must i have motherly love.
damn fuck up. =="

it's hard to love but i know i gotta try; Jasmine

2009-03-24T00:04:00.000+08:00

a BITCH, a BLACK SHEEP of the family; ME

i might not always seems like what i'm suppose to be.
no one will ever be like how they're expected to.
never judge a book by its cover.

i kept thinking i've grown up and had stop being so childish and all already.
but now i realized, it's just the ability of being able to think properly and deeply.
not growing up.
i can think but i always have problem taking actions.
i'm still a child after all.

i make mistakes and some people thinks that i'm a bitch because the things i do are simply so FUCKED UP.
those that hate me that much, i don't need the forgiveness, i rather u stay far far away from me.
in that way u're live happier. (:

so...
BEWARE OF ME!

this weeks having MAJOR TEST .
but i dont even know which day is which test.
freaking siian...

must gambatte! >.<

YTD went to church.
the guy who's talking is freaking funny.
it sure is a worth to go session. (:

okay, shall go sleep, tml got school.
OYASUMINASAI! [x

2009-03-14T05:54:00.000+08:00

FATE;
when the time is right, you will know it.

Been late for school the whole of this weeks,
this explains why my mom doesn't trust me that much anymore.
cause i lack of responsibility.

i don't think my thinking is immature seriously.
just that u found that i tend to do stuff immaturely.
=X

i mean like, i like having fun too much and do what i feel like doing without thinking that much.
i know i've do the wrong things but i just like having fun too much.
i guess it's the results of not having much freedom since i way young.
people who usually are allow to have alot of freedom, tend to get sick of going out too much.
while those who don't, envy those who have freedom and longs about having freedom.
it's a physiological things you see.
most of the time, it works this way.

meet Andy in school and accompany him and his frens for a period as i promised.
then went for bio class.

misuke made bread for me as usual; THANKS! IT'S ALWAYS SUPER YUMMY! [:

after school, went home pack stuff and came out.
meet Timothy at northpoint & went down to Serangoon to meet up with HuiPing&Nehemiah.
cab down to eastcoast for 3OA's BBQ and celebrate Adely's birthday.
then went for a movie and went to back to Serangoon.
Mummy 'KI HONG', keep spaming 20+ call
so decided to come back as i felt bad for making her worried.
cab home and now super tired.
yeah, that's all fer today.

sleepy, tired, headach.

tml morning meeting them for breakfast.
after that maid's coming my house to clean the house.
then meeting Glenn & Timothy to go church with MrDavid @ city harvest.

20 of march comming soon, as the date get closer, the more i panic.
i'm abit scared and confused.
but i'm detemin to give my answer by 20 march.

photography; Jasmine
Editor; Jasmine

it's hard to trust but i know i gotta try; Jasmine

2009-03-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

*SLAP SELF*
please dont let me fall in love again!
no no no no no!

i feel like crying.
feel like dying.

it's not hard to explain why.
but it's dumb to explain why.
is my expectation to high or am i just asking too much?

is it really that hard?

i really wanna burst it all out.
i feel like bursting.
but how?

kill me fast.
end my misery.

maybe, its just my fate.
to die alone.

i'm just...
too afraid to be alone.
i dont like the feeling of being left out.
dont like the feeling that i'm facing everything alone.
i understand some stuff are meant to be faced alone.
but, i when there's stuff that need not be faced alone, i wish that everyone who i hold dear to, will be there for me, especially that someone i love.
and yes, i love to be love and i love to share my love too; ofcoz not share boyfriend lahhs.

haiis...
fine, it's hard to explain in words in a everyone view...

*bang wall, bang table, bang chair*

i shall reborn my hair this year;
jap perm it next year;
cut it short + reborn it the next next year.
hahas.

'think i'm going crazy soon'

2009-03-08T11:47:00.000+08:00

RAINBOWS&BUTTERFLIES.
When the rain stops and the cloud cleared;
i know i will see you there.

Today woke up, bath and went to meet wee below my block around 3pm plus.
train down to cityhall and went to the same shop where i buy the present to change the present as it has scratches.

after that, we went to food court.
i drank 2 glasses of coke while he ate his lunch and drank milo with ice-cream.
then we went back to yishun to get my lappy and bus down to pasir ris for my sister's birthday.
walking down the same path reminds me of WAYNE.
yet, it's smth i have to learn to put down in the past.
it's just the memories haunting me after all.

Wee didnt know anyone there.
so i tried my best to be there for him and entertain him.
its a hard job seriously, coz i got kinda angry in the end.

ate apple with melted chocolate; super yummy!
and corn with melted cheese; super yummy!

my precious biao mei[s] cut hair le.
and darling tang mei reborded hair.
lols.
and my youngest biao mei and tang mei DISLIKE each other.
OMG, headache.
lols.

begaining when i was there, they were like kinda clingy.
i was super worried wee would be left out.

after that, we snag birthday song and ate a gianatic peice of birthday cake and then me and wee left the chalet.
he sent me to the interchange.
actually he wanted to send me home but noticed the time was too late.
so we decided to go home seprately.

got home; was trap inside my gate, outside my door.
lols.
coz i only brough one key.
so i sat with the all the shoes using my lappy for about 45mins.
damn, it stinks.

got INTO house, lay on my bed, SLEEP.
hahas.
too tired le.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT MY BLOG LINK WILL CHANGE SOON SO LOOK OUT FOR MY NEW LINK THROUGH MY FRIENDSTER & FACEBOOK SHOUT OUT.

neglected this photo for a very long time; MISUKE! (:
and yes, he's a guy. [x

my eyes can also big big one lor, just i lazy open.
i swear this had no editions.

You'll be right there waiting for me; Jasmine.

2009-03-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

fear overwhelms me;
what lies in the future is so predictable yet uncertain.

HAPPY 17 BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS GIRLFRIEND; PEGGY!

life have been really tough on you.
i hope the rest of the days, months and years of ur life that lies ahead of you; no matter how hard the situation is; someone, infact, everyone and a lot of people will be there for you, encouraging you and leading you.

i hope u will grow to learn to be more jian qiang and understand how life works.
no matter how much we are unwilling to put down the past,
we still have to let it go.
keep this in ur mind that you are NOT ALONE.
I will be there for u for as much as u can.
but at the times when i cant be there for u, or when no one are able to be there for u or do anything to help u, learn from ur mistakes, find a solution and work it out, improve ur life and GAMBATTE.

some things are meant to be face alone; no one are able to help you.
but never forget that there's always people who love and care about you, no matter how far they are, their love will alway be there for you.

and lastly,
❥iloveyou GALFRIEND.

Today went to school, was almost late because something got cope up.
so cab down from tiong plaza.
fucking wasted.

Had maths test; OMG, not enough time to finish it up. T^T
Had eng test; hai hao narhhs, its not that hard any more.
Had bio spelling test; hey! my memory arent that bad after all, i think. |x

in between bio class, i came out just intime to wish peggy happy birthday while nehemia and huiping just got back from collecting the purple-pink roses and cake from tiong to gib Peggy.

ended class a 4.30pm

slack in school awhile and set off for bugis.
went to eat steamboat.
WOOHOO!
YUMMY!

after that huiping and tiff feel like volmiting, they ate too much.
heng i never stuff myself too full.

all gathered at the shisha carpet place.
all sat on the foor.
shisha abit and celebrate peggy's birthday there.

took lots of photo, and she cut her cake and i fed her the first slice of the cake.
and everyone is starting to be in a good mood.
talk alot, joke alot.

After that Peggy left to meet her frens.

then i played the sissor-paper-stone game, who ever lose will be doddle by the winner on their limps with eye-liner.
begaining when i was playing with timothy, i keep winning, but after that when we play 'O-YA-PEH-YA-SOM' with drick, i lost ALL THE WAY.

damn the luck.
got bullies, they drew all over my arms and legs!!!
T^T

after that we walk to city hall & meet up with peggy and her frens.

everyone who walked pass me was like staring at me from my leg to my face.
i know i look freaking weird as drick kinda draw an ang kong like thing on my leg.
=="

took MRT home and slept on Shino[gal] darling's shoulder.
damn, that's the nicest shoulder i had ever lied on in my LIFE.

got home, mom was like O.O coz of my 'tattoos'.
and was like freaking scratching it off while bathing.
and end up, my legs and arm are red while my fingure nails are all black!
>.<

hair freaking messy.

look at my arms and leg, gan ugly lor.
T^T

timothy

glenn&drick

i darw on timothy de

dont only look at the tar fish, look wad's below it [x

my leg, the 'ang gong'; drawn by drick

drawn by shino[steph]

freaking tired now.
lots of things running through my mind.
i still have things that i needa talk it over.
i cant stand it.

i cant stand myself.
i love myself but i hate myself at the same time.

it's complicated...

when the best one is right infront of ur eye, you crave for something you never know if you'll ever get or if it ever exist yet it's tempting but it's too precious to be own when you know you'll break it someday.

please, tell me u're the right one; Jasmine.

2009-02-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

when everything breaks down today;

i know i'll be stronger tomorrow.

i look kinda sad here...

Today went to school late.
was having period cramps in the morning.

actually wanted to ask wayne out to a movie.
marley and me.
we promised to watch it tgt before we got together.
oh well...

after school, went out with neil maya, huiping and peggy.
along with other 7 guys.

slack outside fareast plaza.
talk alot and blah blah blah.
went home at 8 plus.
took a 2hr ride home from orchard.
backside fucking pain.

got home bath and MSN wayne.
we broke up le.
damn sad but this will never stop me from moving on in life.
wo hen jian qiang de wor.

TML going to meet peggy and glenn to school.
after that going to northland's passion arts at RP with Ichirou and Misuke.

hope HX didnt strain his legs too much.
but cant wait for the wushu performance.

TO ALL CHEC TEACHERS: ME AND WAYNE BROKE UP LE, SO PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT WAYNE ANYMORE NOR REGUARD HIM AS MY BOYFRIEND ANYMORE!
THANKS!

random...
shall go slp...
tml's gonna be a long day.

our last photo tgt.

Jasmine is gonna be alright.

2009-02-22T04:04:00.000+08:00

Where's the rainbow,
when i needed it the most?

slept after i msg wayne at 3am plus last night/this morning, which is the time he wakes up and helps his dad with the business.
woke up and check my phone; no reply from him.
thought to myself, maybe he didnt wan to wake me up therefore didnt reply.
decided to msg him again to tell him i'm awake; tt was around 11.30pm.
most probably he's on his way home or preparing to go out for dragon boating around that time.
once more, he didnt reply.
untill 7.22pm then he replied that he just finish charging his phone.
oh well....

meet up with mom in the evening for dinner.
SAKAE SUSHI!!!
SUSHI!!!
SUSHI!!!!!!!!!!!
[x

total bill: $42+
hoho.
=X

after that, walk around abit.
looking for new bag.
[x

bought a book in popular.
'The Essential Teenage HandBook'
it's a realli nice book!!!
i love it man!!!

after walking alot, mom felt tired so we went to mac and had a drink and a heart to heart talk.
somewhat heart to heart.
but i told her alot about me and wayne.
she's worried; i know, tt's why i'm filling her up with informations and telling her, i'm alright.
i can handle it.
dont worry about it.
told her i wanna get a job too.
she agree.
happy happy~

after that we even plan to go out tgt tml evening.
go for a movie and tt's all.
actually just now when shopping, saw this braclet that's super nice on her.
but reach home le then she say she like it alot.
so i told her tml i help he buy le then go meet her for movie hao le.

wonder if i can manage to get in touch with valen tml.
wanna ask him pei me go shop for me and wayne's first month's present.
stephanie said if she can, she might join us.
(:
cant wait to complet the present. <3>

when i get older.
i wanna go get it to sharpen a little.
it's a bit too round.
=X
u know what i mean? [:

actually i expect alot from my own life.
expecting alot from my own like = i have to work as hard too.
the reason i'm not working tt hard is i'm afraid of the clever ppl.
after having the experience that the express class's problem is alway way chaotic than the Normal class.
kinda dont wanna mix witht the clever ppl too much.
but OMG! this year, the ppl in my school is all so friendly. <3

i really, really, really like this photo!
OMG!
pro camera jui shi pro camera! [x

❥Boii, i want you to be there for me; mentally and physically.

2009-02-20T23:10:00.000+08:00

forcefull smile

i love him.

Today went school early!
FINALLY!
NOT LATE LE!
hee~

cause meet up with peggy and rick at school bus stop.
meet up with them late by half an hour.
NOOOO~!
MUST STOP BEING LATE!!!
>.<

stupid habbit!

got into school then saw this senior who is busy decorating the cafeteria.
she was like, blowing two ballons at the same time, so we went up to help her.
*how kind of us!*
*cough*
help her think of ideals to deco the place too!!!

went to take maths test today.
set and vend digram was kinda easy.
but my HCF, LCM SUCKS!
dead!

after maths was break didnt had mood the whole day.
so didnt eat, went to continue making the present for out first month at the lepak place outside classrooms.
damn the aircorn was cold.
>.<
then dunno why, slowly slowly, my mood turn good le.
then started to feel hungry liao at the cafeteria, there's this birthday celebration for the JAN & FEB babies.
i was invited by jowene so they got order food for me.
so i took the cheese burger and drinks.
i joined photography elective so Mr David ask me to taker photos using his SUPER COOL CAMERA!
OMG!
i wan one too!!!
>=<

took burger for wayne too, alot extras.
xD
ate tgt during class.
hee~

due to the problem wayne's facing, we seem like drifting apart.
so i was kinda moody this few days...
trying real hard not to do stupid stuff and all.
keep repeating the reasons in my head...
hen xing ku, but must nu li. for us!
i hope all this don't go to waste.

but after break; he sudden become so close to me, i was really happy!
he told me the problems he had is starting to cool down le.
so we kinda let lose a little, and be just like ourself le. (:

and for the rest of the day,
i was rather HYPER; infact, VERY HYPER.
flunk my eng test, damn my vocab sucks.
I NEED TO READ MORE BOOKS!
OMG!!!
english english english!
i musn't fail english!!!!

then was BIO.
hee~
bio seems kinda fun today.
had lots of test and had bio class photo taking. <3
Mr David rocks!!!
Miss Selena rocks too!!!
My top two fav teacher; science teachers!<3

After school, went to shisha with wayne, ricky, peggy, matthias, huiping, tiffiany and stephanie.
but only me, wayne, rick and matthias shisha-ing.
cool man. been a long time since i tasted cigrette smell.
but this is nothing compared to cigrettes.
16bucks and u can keep this on for hours and shared by 4ppl, man, it's worth it.
[i hope my relative doesn't read this]
>.<

left the place at 8pm...
was hyper all the way since noon, after break.
made 2 new frens; huiping and tiffiany.
they're nice ppl i guess. (:

damn i'm broke!!!
everytime wanna save $ become wasting it all on us.
lols...

god damnit!
monday's our first month le.
everything must to be done by then.
may god bless me.

been thinking of wanting lots of stuff...
my wishlist is growing!!!
and i'm broke!!!
stephanie sweetie!!!
faster help me ask ur boss~~~
i wan a job!
fast!!!

Wishlist:

more singlet!!! [due to hot weather]
panda pencil box [i using paper as my pencil box now T^T]
coloured flies[for diff sub]
eraseable highlighter
whiteboard marker[pink de also can! school need]
new bag [bag spoild]

see doctor for face[$50]

wallet
dye hair
2 more shorts
black with gold print cap
a longer cardin
1 hoodie
1 cavana
camera

OMG; this is so freaking many things!!!

silly love dummy; dummy love silly.
we gave the best we could; dont let any of the efforts go to waste.

2009-02-19T15:35:00.000+08:00

Nightmare
what if i were to die in a few month time;
what will u all do?
what will i do?
what would i fulfill before i die a slow and ugly death?

it's scary to think that if u suddenly got cancer or what ever diseases and the doctor tells u that u'll die in a few months time.
what is left of ur life span, what u're gonna do with it?

preparing for death...
it's scary...

i pray hard that i wouldnt die so early too.
even though sometime i wishes to die soon so that i would need to go through this tough life...
but...
i kinda love my life.
the fren, the family, the relationship, new things happens everyday.
i wanna live; for as long as i can.

today,
went to school; damn i was late for class again.

colour up the present i made for dummy for our first months.
haven completed it yet
i'm only at the 2nd step of completing it.
there' s still another 5 to 6 more step.

after school, went pool with dummy, ricky, peggy and another guy; i forgot his name, also from school de.
the guy and dummy damn pro sia.
me and ricky noob noob de.
then i tyco tyco win ricky.
lol.

after pool, see them eat dinner and went home.

got home, bath and now using com.

something's been bothering dummy this few days...
i'm worried...

there's quite a number of stuff that dummy's been doing that i didnt realli like it at all.
but...
guess love concures it all.
or maybe, love has to concure and accept it all.
>.<

but obvious, if it smth serious, we have to sort it out tgt. (:

dummy told me that the road infront of us would get tougher and tougher.
but i'm not scared.
as long as i hab dummy and dummy hab me, i'm not scared.
so dummy, we must gambatte tgt okay?

i dont mind u keeping a secret from me, just dont lie to me.
and tell me when there's smth wrong.
so atleast i know and understand.
tell me ur reason for doing smth, so i wouldnt misunderstand too okay?...

i'm going to bed soon...
waiting for dummy's reply in msn is like, forever...
miss him...

dummy, i love you. <3

2009-02-18T00:12:00.000+08:00

alot happen this few day.
alot went through my mind...

please dont let me remember...
please dont remind me about it...
please just brain wash me...
i dont wanna remember...

i'm DANGEROUS
throw away the RAINBOW and walk through the MIST.

very fan very fan very fan.
broken promises; change of attitude, drifting us apart; what will be left of us now?

i wan go fuma...
irresistible.

study study study!
like how i promised.

haven been eating well for days.
eating one meal per day, sometime, not even eating.

random and short post; letting abit of myself out.
sleepy; good night ppl.

So what if i'm naive and dumb?

Jasmine want ice mint.

2009-02-12T06:33:00.000+08:00

SMILE.
It's not always rainbows & butterfly.

8 Feb 2oo9

Sunday,
Slept 3am plus last night.
woke up 7.50am.
took my time to prepare.
left house at 10am
went to somerset to pass mummy the stuff she had forgotten to bring.
and went on to meet wayne, Ricky, Valen and wu kiong[koren] at Tana merah.
wa late by half an hour.
sorry~

took bus to the jetty.
took the boat to pula ubin.
first time going to pula ubin.
excited sial~~~
reach there, took photo at the 'WELCOME TO PULA UBIN' sign.
spray tons of sun block and insect repellen on myelf too.
the feeling of habing tons of both of this spray on myself is...
Slippery; oily~

lols.

rent a bicycle.
sit till backside damn pain ar.
Wayne was like cycling all the way infrot while i cycle all the way behind
especially at the steep steep slope.
i needa get down the bicycle and push it up slope.
damn ma fan.
sweat alot too!

there's this part where we wanted to go up a damn slopy road.
i was the first to go up, followed by valen.
end up the rest of them stoped and said that there's a tombstone.
and all cycle away.
damn!
after that, me and valen started to fall down and all.
valen's right break spoiled and end up banging into me when he's on the way down a slope.
and i got a small cut on the tumb.
then ricky bang into me, i got cut BIG on the leg.
then come a group of china idiot who keep ringing their bicycle's bell then i give way to them but they still ling ling ling till i gt distracted and fell down and hab lot of cuts on my left knee and twisted my right leg.
fell down on the rocky path.
damn!
though i was bleeding and my leg's twisted, i didnt wanna become a burden.
i continue to cycle.

OMG!!!
i hate sweating.
But oh well, all the sweating does payoff when i get off the bicycle and slowly enjoy the marvellous view.
cool.

i love the view from the top of the tower.
though climbing up is tiring and being up there, we're nearer to the sun therefore the heat is much more hot.
but, the wind and the beutiful view is like wow.
camera cant cature the view that one sees.

took lots of photo, of nature and fren ofcoz.
not myelf.
coz i sweat too much till very ugly le.
makeup melt~~~
T^T

now i think about it, in my life, only ONE guy saw me without make up de shi hou.
and i'm really glad that he always reasure me that, to him, i'm pretty; with or without make up.
(:

back to the present,
after all the viewings and all, it's about evening le.
so we went back to retrun the bicycle and procced to eating.
i didnt eat.
i was starving but i told them i wasnt hungry.
becuase i hab used up all my money for the traveling and rental fee.
i even need wayne to help me pay for my boat fee on the way back.

oh yeah, before leaving pula ubin, ricky took some cool shots for me and wayne by the beach.
the last shot was unbearable.
i hab open wounds and i still hab to enter the saltish sea water.
it' ****ing pain i tell euu.
but i hab to bear with it.
coz ricky's a great photographer!
xD

you all can view the photos at my face book. (:

9 Feb 2oo9

Monday,
Went to school late.
>.<

after school went to bugis library with wayne and valen.
study till 6pm lyk tt.
then went to sing KBOX.
SUANG!

Wayne and valen sing till their voice open le.
chiong last train home.

10 Feb 2oo9

Tuesday,
went to school late again.
WTH!

after school took bus to clack quay and eat.
chat with jowene and carman more today.
after that walk to china town de KTV sing till 10.30pm juii go le.
went home late.
mummy angry~...
>.<

11 Feb 2oo9

Wednessday,
went to school and was late ONCE MORE!
OMG!
my sec school habbit comming back le~
no!!!
cannot let this happen.
>.<
must jai you!

after school waited for wayne to end class, brough lappy and blog a little while waiting for him.
after that he came out and we cab down to doubby gaut de SHTC to meet wu kiong.
end up she's at yoh chu kang's de SHTC.
WTH!!!

end up walk in the rain to meet ricky's fren; Glenn and drick[dunno how to spell his name] at lan shop.
walk like forever to look for a private tattoo shop called "gimme love tattoo" as drick wanna continue his tattoo section.
use my lappy to gib the GUYs to watch anime.
intro natusme to them.
they seems to enjoy it.

got to know glenn more a little.
after that walked to doubby gaut mrt station and train home with glenn.
chat alot.
he got off at bishan and i continued my journey home alone.

didnt eat today; no appitite.

love this top alot; thanks wee. (:

my head looks big; coz never style hair then hair too flat
therefore making head look bigger.

my dummy boyfriend

kakashi wayne!LOL!
before we stead.

i look shity here

love u.

wayne & ricky

cool~

jump!

effect of near and far. [x

dummy look cute here lahhs!

hat flying; hair messy.

cacat sial~

he accidently hit me in the eye;
so i pretent to cry when he keep laughting at his own mistakes.
kel behind, so relaxe one him. xD

hard to be the one who handles the camera

Jasmine&Wayne; sticking tgt like SUPER GLUE!

2009-02-02T22:09:00.000+08:00

Rainbows
Color ur life like rainbows
Or leave it black & white?
You decide.

SUNDAY,
actually meeting wayne at cityhall de.
but i was late.
so met him at novena last cabin.

it was still quite early; around 11plus.
so the station was EMPTY.
so i felt a little bored and started to camwore.
forgetting that there's still camera at the MRT station.
DAMN.
and i heard that the MRT mic droped.
so with my great imagination, i felt kinda embarrassed.
>.<"

when wayne's mrt reach le, i enter and sat all the way back AMK with him.
WTH!!! ANDY & PAT still say till so nice, 11am at yishun mrt then come amk.
i freaking reach AMK at 11.40 like tat and called them, ALL STILL HOME.
DL.

nvm, so ate breakfat at toastbox with wayne; my boyfriend.
and he damn cacat!
dunno how to buy de.
cacat!!! xD

then pat come, and we move on to bugis.
saw a MICKY MOUSE BRACKLET.
DAMN NICE.
i think weeteng would like it.
but it's limited edition, $60+ siao.
i broke.
so end up go bought smth simpler.
damn, now i regretted buying that, should buy more ex de.
coz like, not good enough for her lehhs. T^T

nvm...
after that went to pop buy books.
after that, pat left to meet his frens.
so me and wayne went to hab lunch and then went to line up for a movie.
then suddenly his family need go out tgt so we ended out date and went home.
kinda sad...
but, i very understanding de. (:

he promised to make it up to me on wed.
so...
LOOKING FORWARD TO WED. <3

MONDAY,
moring wake up 5.30am, prepare and meet kel, carmen and lester at woodland.
train down to clementi, ate breakfast, meet ken & jowene.
boii make me worried whole night till morning i damn shag.

chinese class watch drug addict de movie.
WTH...

Math class still can cope.
had lunch early today as MR Koh, my math teahcer let us off early by 45mins.
CHEM class damn stress but still can rougly follow lahhs...
coz i reaction slower and damn blur.
next quetion liao then i just finish writting my previous question de answer, dont even need to show teacher.
damn shag.
then keep answer wrongly.
boii's periodic table also bluff me.
bought pink marker then the seller say is white board marker, end up is permernant marker.
bei pian.
I KEEP ON KANA PIAN LOR TODAY.

after school, went home straight.
reach home, slp.
zzzzzz.
suang, wake up, steamboat ready le.
eat~
hahas.

after dinner juii use com le lor.
hahas.

DO YOU KNOW?:
the meaning of shag is: feeling tired after SEX.
LOL!
but teenagers now a days use it as : sian/tired
hahas.
this one is my eng teacher teach me one.

P.S to HX: Hey, heard that ur leg's not in good condition.
though we broke up already, and i got a new bf so fast, and u are feeling kinda furious about this, but...
i still so hope ur leg would get better soon...
Please, do take good care of urself.
Jai you in life oh.
(:

PHOTO TIME!

WHERE AM I?
MY FREN + WAYNE+ ME.

LOVING CHICKENS! [X

KAWAII DESU~!

i know this one damn act cute but... (:

Everyday is a colorfull day!
Monday, Tuesday, Wednessday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Jasmine loves RAINBOW and ofcause, her BOYFRIEND TOO!

2009-01-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

Addictive

Rainbows are addictive.
They helps to quit smoking.

Today woke up at 8.30am.
prepare and left house at 10.
went to paya lebar & meet up with wayne.
he late for 5 mins.
iidiiot! [x

after that took bus and then walk to his house.
got one house damn intresting.
ALOT OF BIRD ONE.
Got parrot, flamago, and dunno what big beak de birdy lahhs[rare one]
wah~

after that reach liao then go around wish ppl happy new year.
WAH LAO!
his mother and father look DAMN YOUNG lahhs.
i tot it's his cousin sial!
OMG!!!
his ah ma and mother gib me ang bao.
then after that, eat steam boat while standing up.
wah, special.
xD
after that juii hide in his room le.

decorated his desk with dolls and he showed me all his photos for the past few year.
damn cute.
haha.

then afternoon 3plus juii alot alot ppl le.
so all his cousin and his dad come in his room play blackjack.
sorry to say this but his younger bro gave me a bad impression of him...
>.<

after that Brandon came.
so he join us play blackjack.
then after that the dunno who came; wayne's fren.
i forgot his name le, paisehhs.
hahas.

stay his house till 8plus then cab home.
OMG!
the cab fare is like... WOW!
$22.80
*FAINTS*

reach home.
*tired*
relative all here.
then eat eat eat & watch tv.
10+ , all go home le.
then i wash dish and sao di.

OH, btw...
to those that dunno that this secret...

I'M ATTACHED TO KOH WEI LUN; WAYNE.

Love you boii! <3

Jasmine love panda.

2009-01-26T01:12:00.000+08:00

it's gonna be CNY soon.
bought my shoes ytd le.
hee~
kinda like it.
cute cute one.

Ytd chat with wee in msn.
and that make me understand myself more.
i always tot to myself, who am i and what kind of person am i?
i alway tot i'm a good and kind person.
but last night....
i seen and notice...
i'm nt such a simple person after all.
i'm not as good as i tot i was.

sometimes my thinking can be rather unsure that it can cause big mistakes.
and my regret just creates another mistakes over and over again.
i'm sorry...

Hao kor...
dui bu qii...
T^T

This moring, woke up, play pet society and watch tv and all.
then wee send me this song that's really realli awsome!!
damn sweet sia the song.
romantic~
"All About You"
sweet~

went to ah ma house eat reunion dinner.
woo~

wayne msg me alot.
hahas.
happy.
heng msg free de.
xD

cant wait for CNY to come.
hearts you! <3

ugly me.

Jasmine love animals!

2009-01-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

Head over heels.
tell her, before its too late.
dont keep it from her.

Today was late for school.
so meet up with Wayne to go to school tgt.
Wasnt as hyper as YTD.
i hope i was though.

gave wayne the Rainbow sweet as promised in exchange for him to quit smoking.
and was happy that he kept his promise.

had eng class.
but talked too much.
didnt quite concentrate in the class.
but heng it's stuff that i learn before and should still remember de.

after that was physic.
damn siann.
hab to wait for them to end class.
me and carmen almost died out there.

then was bio.
even siian...
everyday test.
but i must gambatte!
study hard hard.
like how i promised so many ppl who cares about me.

after school the the group wanna go home.
so left me, wayne, valen, kelvin and mervin, who came down to go out wif us.
after that we took bus to boubby gaut.
the guys all sit one sit, i dont wanna choose ppl to with so i sat alone.
listen to songs and looked out the window.
suddenly, wayne pop out to ask me why so emo.
so we started chatting all the way.

reach doubby gaut, parted with kelvin and mervin, bus to katong and walked to parkway parade.
on the way, played bindman with wayne.
valen like siian siian one...
sorry~~~~~

after that eat dinner.
and buy the rainbow sweet gib wayne.
then played pool.
WAH.
wayne pro sial.
dont dare VS him lahh.
xD

after that slack a while and valen cab home.
walked to eunos with wayne then took mrt home.
suang!
long ride home.
[x

hx msn Pm looks like he found someone.
great.
good for him.
i've move on too. (:

damn sleepy and tired...
*YAWNS*
i wanna dream of panda tonight. <3>

pretty wayne & ricky behind. [x

Jasmine loves you like PANDA loves SUGAR CANE. ❤

2009-01-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

DAMN THE FLASH. xD

YO YO!

TODAY IS 3TH DAY I STUDIED IN CHEC.
and it's AWSOME~!
i love the school;
it's air conditional.
i love the teachers;
they're fun and hyper.
i love the frens there;
they're cheerful and make school a whole lot difference place to be.

First day of school, i was damn nervous.
no frens at all.
everyone has a group.
but me.
T^T

but slowly i met more ppl and yeah, now i'm with a group of 9ppl.
hee~
but ofcoz, i met and make frens with more than 9ppl.

first day of school played lot of games.
math & chem class merge.
for now, i love my math class, it's kinda intresting.
out vice-princepal teaching us math.
hahas.

today they play a 'team crossing the from one conner end of the room to the other conner end while stepping on paper plates and balancing a ball on the spoon.' game.
i was the phtographer.
hahas!
next time show u the photo.
cause i used my fren's camera.

Today geo class my mini test got 19/22
I COULD HAB GET FULL MARKS.
but, careless.
T^T
never read properly

oh well, will try my best again next time.
and bio suddenly seems so hard today.
T^T
must gambatte le.

JUST SIMPLY LOVE SCHOOL!
[x

Miss selena; my chem teach, also our school's ccounellor.
OUR CLASS IS HER FAN CLUB! xD

it looks awsome through the sunglass.

Jasmine loves you. <3